Can dating apps be effective for long term relationships?
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many single people turn to dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge to fill what they feel is a void in their life not having a relationship, because nothing screams loner like not getting flowers and overpriced chocolate on a random February Friday.
The question that lingers to many is if these hookup apps are beneficial for long-term dating, or if they are just a physical embodiment of hookup culture coming to fruition to help people engage in their sexual desires beyond going out to the bar or racking up the courage to ask that pretty girl in class to “hang out”.
My simple answer to the debate is that no, these apps are not beneficial for long-term dating.
There are many reasons behind my thinking, but the first comes down to the fact the dating apps are forcefully putting two lonely people together and trying to make something come of it.
That sounds super harsh, but it’s true.
Think of it this way: when you get to a level of desperation where you throw all your standards out the window and agree to start dating someone you know nothing about who you met two weeks ago, you may not get the fairytale ending you hoped for.
There is also the problem of people not wanting to come off as pigs and will talk to someone for weeks until they can meet up, hook up, and then never speak again.
People don’t make their intentions clear and one side of the relationship can see a proposal, while the other knows they are never going to speak to each other again after they get what they want.
That leads into another pertinent point in the argument: ghosting culture.
Dating apps have enabled people to feel like they don’t owe anybody an explanation anymore.
You may think things are going great with somebody, but little do you know they’ve been talking to three other people and finally chose their Bachelorette (who wasn’t you) until you wake up and they’ve blocked you on all social media.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. My best friend has been with a guy who she met on Tinder for a few years now. They are complete soulmates and I have never seen her happier.
Another one of my best friends met her girlfriend on a dating app. They are coming up on their one year and I can’t wait to speak at their wedding one day.
Other than those literal two examples, almost every single one of my friends has been on dating apps and almost every one of them has a thousand horror stories.
Trying to put two people who don’t have much in common, don’t know any of the same people, and don’t know the ins and outs of the person that well, is sort of a recipe for failure.
Not being aware that someone has a personality trait you HATE until you’re five months deep sucks.
The bright side of this whole thing is that everyone will find their person one day. Sure, if you enjoy conversation, or hookups or going for coffee with strangers, no one is stopping you from going on Tinder, believe me.
Have fun while you’re young, but if you’re dependant on an app to find your husband, you may benefit from just going outside and seeing what the universe has in store for you.