Sept. 7, 2009

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Dear Life:
Thank you for summer. It was a wonderful week. Maybe next year you can try for a bit longer. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Awful Tan

Dear Life:
When is this confounded construction going to end? For the first time I’ve ever experienced, it actually takes more than five minutes to get from point A to point B on campus. What gives? I didn’t come to a small school to walk around mazes of fences.
Sincerely,
Has Sore Feet

Dear Life:
Why am I still awake? I thought I wasn’t supposed to be busy before classes start.
Sincerely,
Co-Curriculars Can be a Bitch

Dear Life:
I would like to remind all of those people out there that allow themselves to fall into a well of self-pity and unhappiness that life is short and precious. It is impossible to overstate the power of a positive outlook and I would like to remind everyone of this. Life is good and the possibilities are endless, go out an enjoy it with a bright smile on your face.
Sincerely,
Unwavering Optimist

Dear Life:
Thanks for forgetting to remind the person next to me on the plane to wear deodourant. It was an awesome five hour flight!
Sincerely,
Row 15, Seat F

Dear Life:
Thank you for allowing me to be born in the late ’80s, so now I’m looking for a job just in time to watch the baby boomer generation get too old to work. No matter how much I screw up my education, I’m practically guaranteed to find a decent job in the next five to ten years.
Sincerely,
Waiting to Pounce

Dear Life:
Can you please stop all my old friends from high school from getting pregnant and having kids? It’s starting to creep me out a little bit.
Sincerely,
Doesn’t Want Children

Dear Life:
Do I really have to go to Africa or Europe or Thailand after I graduate? I know I’m supposed to go “see the world,” but I really just want to sit on my ass and watch TV.
Sincerely,
Couch Potato


Serving the Waterloo campus, The Cord seeks to provide students with relevant, up to date stories. We’re always interested in having more volunteer writers, photographers and graphic designers.