Sept. 23, 2009

Dear Life:
Please remove the 2nd floor option from the elevators in the DAWB so that lazy people stop taking the elevator up one floor when they should be taking the stairs.
Sincerely,
Works on the 4th Floor

Dear Life:
Naps are brilliant. Peaceful, warm, safe, relaxing and slightly rebellious they are composed of every element one tries to strive for in the world. You pulled quite the achievement with the siesta in some countries, not to mention infants and the elderly have also got it right. Naps are unquestionably the most perfect creation to ever exist. And although some individuals like to enjoy them in a pathetic 30 minutes, I, on the other hand, take it slow – tumbling amongst the soft forgiving sheets for hours upon hours. Bravo life, bravo.
Sincerely,
The Church of Naps and Other Such Practices

Dear Life:
Why does everybody find it suitable to throw up on the sidewalk? I can’t even walk to school without having to dodge some drunk person’s dinner. What ever happened to puking in toilets?
Sincerely,
Proper Puker

Dear Life:
Where the hell is MacDonell’s? I want my 3 a.m. poutine.
Love,
Drunk and Hungry

Dear Life:
Thank you, Imaginus, for keeping the Farm Market out of the Concourse. I wanted a pretzel; unfortunately, posters are far less edible.
Sincerely,
Still Hankering For a Pretzel

Dear Life:
Why do I never remember the walk home from Phil’s? Assuming that forgetting is a self-defense mechanism, I intend to implement the “if I don’t remember, it didn’t happen,” rule.
Cheers,
Slightly Drunk

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