Sept. 16, 2009

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Dear Life:
I hate when girls who put no effort into being thin show up at the gym to support their fat friends but use the treadmills and other equipment just to go at a snails pace while they sneer at normal women who have to work for their bodies. If you are not going to work out donโ€™t show up at the gym, moron.
Sincerely,
Hard Working Skinny Bitch

Dear Life:
Thank you for allowing my ex-boyfriend to switch programs and fail so many classes at UW that even though heโ€™s a year older than me, he will now graduate the same year I get my mastersโ€™ degree, taking six years to graduate with his undergrad. And while Iโ€™m at it, thank you for allowing Facebook to remind him.
Sincerely,
Vindictive Girlfried

Dear Life:
Can first years hurry up and figure out that itโ€™s okay to walk on the hawk? Iโ€™d really like to be able to walk through the hall of fame and still get to class in time.
Sincerely,
Get the Hell Out of My Way

Dear Life:
Thank you for letting Loren King be my professor this semester. Heโ€™s so hot.
Sincerely,
Likes Married Men

Dear Life:
Five dollars for a football game? Seriously? Gone are the days that you could wander piss drunk into the stands and cheer on the Hawks for free. I am mourning the end of an era.
Sincerely,
Cheapskate

Dear Life:
Why does WebCT continue to suck?
Sincerely,
Screwed

Dear Life:
Why is technology continually hindering my ability to do my job?
Sincerely,
Considering Becoming a Luddite

Dear Life:
What the hell am I still doing here?
Sincerely,
Fifth Year is Not a Charm


Serving the Waterloo campus, The Cord seeks to provide students with relevant, up to date stories. Weโ€™re always interested in having more volunteer writers, photographers and graphic designers.