March 23, 2011

Dear Life,

RE: Respect All University Athletes- My spirits were raised last week when I read your Dear Life entry. It made me feel as if I’m not alone. I’ve spent the last 4 years wondering if I had to transfer to football, hockey or basketball in order to have my existence recognized by the Cord sports editor. I always knew the pool wasn’t just in my head. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Coming Out Of An Existential Crisis

Dear Life,

Why is it that it takes me 20 minutes to get an everything bagel toasted with butter at timmies yet 3 minutes to get a grande light caramel double blended no whip frappucino at Starbucks?

Sincerely,
This Makes No Sense

Dear Life,

Why do some people find it necessary to interrupt my studies to ask me to “watch their stuff” when they go to the bathroom. No one is going to steal your shit in the five minutes it takes you to shit.

Sincerely,
I Really Don’t Watch Your Shit, Nor Would I Take Any Responsibility If Someone Stole Your Shit

Dear Life,

BITE ME

Sincerely,
Your Least Favourite Person

Dear life,

If we’re not supposed to step on the hawk why is it on the floor?

Sincerely,
All Ground Was Created For The Same Purpose, For Me To Step On It With My Giant Size 10 Feet

Dear Life,

Helium Ytrrium, Hydrogen Oxygen Tungsten Sulphur Iodine ‘T’ ‘G’ Oxygen Iodine Nitrogen ‘G’? (HeY, HOWS IT GOING?)

SiliconNitrogenCeriumRhenium’L’Yttrium,
(SiNCeReLY)
Devoted Carbon Helium ‘M’ Iodine Sulphur ‘TR’ Yttrium (CHeMISTRY) Student =)

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