Dear Life: Nov. 9, 2011

Dear Music Students,

Here take my change, you can put it in your guitar case. Think of it as a head start, an investment in your future.

Sincerely,

I may work at McDonalds … but you work in a subway station

Dear Life,

I wish the hate towards arts students would stop.

Sincerely,

I’m not a Laurier science student who has UW staring them in the face across the street everyday

Dear Life,

Thank you for deciding to major in business and minor in English. Far too often do I see business kids with poor reading and writing skills and arts majors with poor work ethic.

Sincerely,

The Tie That Binds

Dear Life,

Sometimes when I read the newspaper, I am greatly disturbed by the vicious acts we, as human beings, do to one another. However, events like Random Acts of Kindness Day remind me to celebrate the good things people have potential to do for others. Thanks for restoring a little faith in humanity!

Sincerely,

Maybe a world of puppies, sunshine and rainbows can exist

Dear Life,

Why are we battling over our majors? There are countless numbers of people in the world who will never have the opportunity to get any form of education, let alone declare a major.

Sincerely,

Thankful (and lucky) to be a university student

Dear Life,

Thank you for finally introducing me to a cute boy who is also in communication studies! I mean, as much as I do love business kids, I can’t help but notice this guy may actually have a soul.

Sincerely,

Class is now worth going to

Dear Life,

It’s paper season, and I’d rather not deal with relationship drama. So, can you give that guy a smack for me, and make him realize that people aren’t just saying “you two would be adorable!” for no reason. I have research that is way more important than trying to get through to him.

Sincerely,

Would rather be in a relationship with the library

Dear all arts, science, math, business, and music majors,

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.

Sincerely,

I don’t even go here

Dear Life,

If I hear one more stupid bimbo complain about Movember and their boyfriend’s new mustache I may punch someone. Ladies, that gentleman is raising awareness for a cancer that he one day may quite possibly be faced with. I very firmly believe that that boy is a hero and I respect him more than I will ever respect you.

Sincerely,

He may look douchey now, but your opinion will change when your father is diagnosed with prostate cancer

Dear Life,

Why is it so hard to meet people?

Sincerely,

I can’t be the only gay guy at this school. I’m lonely

Dear Life,

I would like to start out by saying that the new posters of the varsity basketball players in the AC look great. But can someone give me a reasonable explanation as to why the men’s team has six posters of their players and the women’s team only has four? I mean, the women’s team went to nationals last year with the best finish in women’s basketball history, did they not? As a female student and athlete I find this truly offensive. Get it together Laurier.

Sincerely,

No, I am not in women’s studies

Dear Life,

Why do all-dressed chips smell so much? The girl a cubicle over opened some, and I want to gag.

Sincerely,

Tostitos please!

Dear Life,

Please tell the Russian guy NOT to jabber on his cell in the library. Go to posted ‘cell phone friendly zones’ if you must talk. Chatting quietly with your study buddy is one thing, talking obnoxiously on your phone is another. The evil glare was for you, if you didn’t pick up on the subtle social cue. Next time, I blow your phone with AK-47 :)

From Canada With Love

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