Dear Life: Dec. 13

(Graphic by Adele Palmquist).

(Graphic by Adele Palmquist).

Dear Neighbour boys,

Do you even go to school? You blast your music for hours on end. Don’t you know people have exams? Shut the fuck up.

Sincerely,

Fir Street bitties

 

Dear Ex-Lover,

You have forever ruined Mumford and Sons for me.

Sincerely,

Why is our sex song always on the radio?

 

DEAR THE GIRL IN THE CORNER CUBICLE ON THE 4TH FLOOR OF THE LIBRARY (I REALLY HOPE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE),

UM DO YOU MIND INVESTING IN THESE THINGS CALLED HEADPHONES THAT EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSITY STUDENT ON EARTH HAS. EITHER THAT OR MOVE TO SOMEWHERE MORE SUITABLE FOR WATCHING A FUCKING MOVIE OUT LOUD. IF THE BOOKSTORE WAS STILL OPEN I WOULD USE MY OWN MONEY TO BUY YOU A PAIR TO KEEP FOREVER.

HAVE SOME RESPECT. IT’S EXAM SEASON. STAY AT HOME.

Sincerely,

Student studying for the three exams I have in the next five days.

 

Dear Life,

What is it about these Canada Goose winter coats?

Sincerely,

Didn’t have a Bench jacket when they were cool either

 

Dear I don’t have any dollar bills,

You’ll take my free lap dance and you’ll enjoy it. Sometimes we all just have to get where we need to go. Move to the fucking back of the bus, sit down and shut up.

Sincerely,

Strangers don’t bite

 

Dear guy who slipped in mud the other day,

Who cares! Either way, you’re gorgeous.

Sincerely,

See you around

 

Dear hot TA,

You have dreamy eyes but something tells me you might be gay or bi:S

Sincerely,

Confused

 

Dear Life,

I can’t wait until Jan. 17. Suits returns for season 3.

Sincerely,

How I miss thee, Harvey Specter

 

Dear Life,

Is it me or are there a lot of girls on campus with crooked feet?

Sincerely,

Observative

 

Dear Life,

What’s better? Dear Life or OMGUW?

Sincerely,

I used to enjoy Dear Life

 

Dear Life,

I don’t get people chirping arts students. My lowest marks in university are in my Arts electives because it’s a completely different skill-set. I’m acing the science courses I take because it’s how I think. They do well in theirs for the same reason. If either one of us tried at it/cared, we could both do well at Business.

Sincerely,

”Left-brained”

 

Dear a REAL university student,

I’m a 4th-year BA student and I have no exams. Say whatever you want but in the end I’m the one who gets to go home next weekend ;-)

P.S after four years of having the last possible examination date, I think I deserve this one.

Sincerely,

Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me

 

Dear A-TEAM,

So it’s the ”boaring twenties”? Really? I dunno I thought they were pretty cool… Everyone at least dressed fancy. The least you could do is show up to an event wearing the right clothes for the time period. The sign said twenties, not sixties, or seventies. Wherever you guys thought you were…

Sincerely,

Don’t crash your own theme party

 

Dear tall dark bookstore boy,

The way you reach the top shelf gets me super hot. Please notice me so we can be together forever!

Sincerely,

I want the D

 

Dear blonde hair blue eyed boy in ES290,

I am quite certain you are gay but if you are not or if you ever decide to try something else I will do anything to you, anywhere.

Sincerely,

I sat at the back

 

Dear Life,

Whoever’s idea it was to crank the heat in the library (specifically 3rd floor) to an UNGODLY temperature, FUCK YOU.

Sincerely,

Sleepy, nauseous, angry, and behind on work

 

Dear WLU students

Why has the Dear Life section become about insulting other people, programs, groups, and clubs behind the safety of our computer screens. Dear life used to be funny and now I just get mad reading it. Why can’t we all be friends and start publishing about our crazy nights and unhealthy crushes again? I just wish that we could bake a cake, made out of rainbows and smiles and we could all be happy.

Sincerely,

Don’t worry, I do go here

 

Dear Life,

I was woken up this morning at 7 a.m. by the continuing construction on the AC. Conrad, my home, is right beside this lovely pile of noise and dirt. Luckily for me, my wing, C, is right beside the construction and my window, on the third floor, is at the same level as the construction. We in Conrad love that we are experiencing 23 hours of quiet in our building for the exam period…. Oh wait. We aren’t. We have 10 hours a day of brick cutting, men swearing, stuff falling, dirt thumping and loud machines. Just the res life we all hoped for….

Sincerely,

This is B

 

Dear Life,

The construction on the AC wakes me up at 7am every day… yes, brick cutting and men swearing is my new alarm clock. Welcome to Conrad Residence.

Sincerely,

Res Life at Laurier

 

Dear Library Hermits,

I’m moving the next single-slice of paper I see topped with a sticky note saying “back in an hour” in one of the cubicles at the library. I was not aware of the new rent-a-cubby program.

Sincerely,

Student Who Needs Study Space Too

 

Dear Life,

I have come to the realization that I have spent a total of 48 hours in the Concourse over the last three days. The sad part is I know others have as well. I think we deserve an award.

Sincerely,

Borderline Psychotic During Exams

 

Dear Life,

I think back massages should be mandatory…

Sincerely,

Kenny Get Back Here!

Want to submit a Dear Life? You can either e-mail dearlife@thecord.ca or submit through our website by clicking here

 

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