The internet is a horrible, cold, terrifying place. A place where it’s important to realize the origins, meanings and perceptions of the words you use when you’re speaking to an unknown audience.
Perhaps in the past year you, the archetype of the internet-capable, free-thinking modern generation, have seen the consistent, inane use of the word ‘cuck’ littered across comment threads. It’s a term that has been proliferated in every corner of the world-wide-web through the stupid efforts of the alt-right.
What exactly is the alt-right? Alternative refers to another option, or substitute, while right refers to absolute, integral truth. So, for objective purposes we can simplify the term ‘alt-right’ to being the alternative of being correct (specifically, wrong) and assess it accordingly.
Let’s move forward.
The word ‘cuck’ has been heavily popularized because it’s perceived as offensive and it sounds kind of funny. It practically drowns both the articles and the comment threads on every alt-right ‘news’ site.
Cuck is short for cuckold — a man whose wife is fucking another man. It’s rooted in the word ‘cuckoo’ and refers to that bird’s habit of laying its egg in a nest that is not her own.
But when a person uses ‘cuck’ as a derogatory, inflammatory term, it oversimplifies, thereby devaluating the nature of more open relationships.
“Cuckold fantasies might have multiple motivations,” said Kelly McDonnell-Arnold, a sexologist with Bliss Counselling.
“[The] factors involved might not be the same across individuals. Social and cultural norms likely play a role in shaping these fantasies, too. Indeed, internet search trends reveal that interest in cuckold porn has surged in the last decade.”
In the modern world, monogamy is considered the standard — but the roots of that monogamy are in deeply personal, human, emotional ties. The physical nature can be varied.
“All [cuckolding] relationships are unique and feature an explicit agreement that allows partners to have multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships at the same time,” said McDonnell-Arnold.
“Polyamorous relationships are less about casual sex and more about building a romantic relationship with more than one person at a time. And yes, there are rules, which are created and agreed upon by everyone involved. The thing that defines a polyamorous relationship is that everyone involved knows about, and agrees to, everyone else’s involvement. There is informed consent of all the participants.”
Some people don’t feel the necessity of absolute possession in their relationships. Although data is hard to track on something so esoterically personal, it’s estimated that around 4-5 percent of Americans have admitted to sexually experimenting outside of their monogamous relationship with the consent of their partner.
Our idealistic perception of the modern world doesn’t pass judgment on people for their relationships, whether they’re heterosexual or part of the LGBTQ+ community.
What happens between consenting adults is their own private affair and discrimination based upon that — while it does happen frequently — is just regressive and silly.
In that same vein, it’s important not to devalue open or experimental relationships by the consistent, derogatory use of the word ‘cuck.’ If a relationship requires less rigid types of sexual congregation, that’s going to be at the discretion of the parties involved. So long as it’s done with honesty, openness, trust and communication, stable relationships can still be built on those foundations.
Always remember to be totally yourself in all of your relationships, whether that’s toward polyamory, bi-curiousity, fetishes — there’s nothing to be embarrassed about so long as you are open, honest, trusting and worthy of receiving that trust.