Year end edition, 2011

Dear life,

Sometimes your not exciting enough, so what do I do it spice it up? I fart in the hallway in my residence at night.

Sincerely,

Adrenaline junkie.


Dear Life,

I understand that certain people enjoy carrying out traditions such as say I don’t know not stepping on the hawk, but would it really be appropriate for you to physically assault someone who chooses break this “tradition”?

Sincerely,

Hey asshole try to tackle me and the hawk might not be the only thing that gets stepped on by my size 10 feet.


Dear Life,

Thanks WLU for giving me only two study days to prep for exams. So glad that I have two on the first day AND and 16 page take home due. I thought WLU was concerned with their academic standing….?

Sincerely,

The exam period is long enough, give us three study days!


Dear Life,

I am sick to death of hearing that people who would be AMAZING candidates for WLUSU positions…are not getting them. Is it STARR, or is it politics? Whatever it is, it makes me really want to bitch slap some common sense into WLUSU. Can you maybe look at the person’s previous experience, personality and skill level instead of a STARR mark that shows NONE OF THESE???!??! I understand the crunch for time/hundreds of applicants but there is no excuse for hiring unqualified coordinators and execs and leaving amazing people in the WLUSU dust.

Sincerely,

WLUSU, you should feel proud, confident and excited about the people you hire, not just happy that the interviews are over.


Dear Life,

0-11 for roll up the rim……come on. Wtf is this shit? I thought my odds were 1 in 6.

Sincerely,

Timmies needs to stop be greedy bastards and give a girl a donut!


Dear Life,

Why has it now been over 2 weeks since the Men’s washroom in the Terrace had soap in it? Its disgusting, unsanitary, and unhygenic anywhere, but especially in a place where people go to eat food. Also, I’ve judged every single guy I’ve seen sitting and eating in the Terrace in this time.

Sincerely,

I wasn’t a germophobe until I started taking Bio classes. Life on Earth: Microbes, anyone?


Dear Life,

I would like to address my rant to ‘Happier Here in Brantford.’ It’s all well and good that you feel a sense of pride for your campus. But please do not insult the Waterloo campus. It is the entire reason that your tiny campus exists, it has 10 x the spirit, the sports teams, and the better looking girls. Further, Waterloo was named by Forbes as one of the World’s Smartest Cities. And Brantford? Statistics Canada tells me it has the highest rate of auto thefts in the country. And honestly, with your “campus”, I’m really not sure what there is to be happy with. Been there, seen that. Do Not Insult Our Campus, unless you want to hear more from the rest of W.L.U Waterloo about how blatantly inferior your campus is.

Sincerely,

Is This Your Gym or The Janitor’s Closet?


Dear life,

most memorable team, women’s soccer… Ending with a loss? Ya it shouldn’t be any of the other teams ending on a win such as Laurier Cheerleading who’ve won national championships four years in a row AND won a competition in the United States this year.

Sincerely,

maybe the Cord should start recognizing winning teams.


Dear Life,

I understand that living far away makes my neighbor homesick but is it really necessary for her to put her yelling mother on speaker phone and sing for half an hour straight?

Sincerely,

I know China is 12 hours ahead but it’s 2:30 am and I have class in 6 hours.

Comments are closed.