What would Wilf do?

I’ve been back living at home after my first year of university for a little over two weeks now. I’ve been trying to stay active by job hunting, going to the gym and hanging out with friends, but my parents seem to disapprove of my new self-dependent, university-esque lifestyle. For example, I nap at least once a day at home. They call it lazy; I call it smart. Overall, it seems like they’re trying to take the reins on my life again and I’m having a hard time taking their criticisms seriously since I’ve been able to do what I want for the past 8 months. What would Wilf do?


Napping is a sign of independence

Independence my dear,

As I once said about MP Bourassa in the spring of 1900, “My hon. friend is young and enthusiastic; he is at that age, that happy age, where the pride of cherished theories far outweighs, and indeed usually makes light of all considerations of practical reality.”

Independence is a great and cherished thing, but like all things worth having it has to be earned. I am sure you feel you have earned the privileges, which come with independence throughout your year away at school. Unfortunately for you, your parents weren’t at school with you. The young person they remember was the immature high school you that left them for eight months and now that you’ve returned they have every expectation that you will also be returning to the person you were before. You’ve only been back for a few weeks, you have to give your parents time to get used to the new, more responsible and independent you.

In the meantime, you may also want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they have a point. Although napping, hanging with your friends and the gym are certainly worthwhile pursuits, you may want to step up the job-seeking efforts, or failing that, find another activity (volunteer work?) to occupy your time. With just a few more hours per week put into something constructive you may win your parents over yet, giving you not only the free time you crave, but something much more valuable — their respect.


Sir Wilf

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years. But the past year of our relationship it feels like I’ve been the only one putting in any effort. I’ve been patient (it’s been a year!) but he always says he has to work, do schoolwork, or hang out with his friends instead of spending time with me. Even though we both live in the same town, I only see him once a week at the most. I love him, but I’m unhappy and he doesn’t seem to want to do anything to fix it. I don’t really want to be single again, but I’m sick of being ignored. I’m considering breaking up with him. What would Wilf do?


Neglected Girlfriend

My dear Neglected,

I was once quoted as saying “solitude is simply intolerable to you, and after some time your solitude would become perhaps attractive if you were to people it with creatures of your own fancy.”

Simply put, leaving your boyfriend may seem unimaginable to you after so much time and effort put into the relationship, but soon you will meet someone more suited to be with you, (and I’m sure more deserving) and your now unimaginable solitude will be unimaginable once again. You will have little success meeting the next love of your life while mooning over this one, whom so clearly has left you already; if not in reality, than at least in spirit.

The truth of the matter is you know what you have to do and did even as you were penning your lovely letter; you are just looking for permission. I am at your service; you have my permission to dump the jerk at get yourself someone new. You can find someone who appreciates you and wants to spend every waking moment with you, or at least more than a few moments a week. While waiting for cupid to strike again, take your newly liberated hours and do something social, take another course, volunteer, join a group. That way you’re less likely to think about your broken heart and more likely to meet another “creature of your own fancy.”


Sir Wilf

Submit your questions for What would Wilf do? (WWWD) to wilf@thecord.ca.

WWWD responses are contributed by various Life staff writers, the Managing Editor Katie Flood and other individuals from The Cord Editorial Board.