I am a 22-year-old male entering my fourth year at Laurier, and I am a virgin by choice. I’m not religious, I’m not some freak of nature, I’m your average Laurier heterosexual male. I like to party, I play intramural sports, and I do date. Recently, I went on a first date with a girl, and I’m, trying to decide how long I should wait to tell her? I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t want her to assume that us dating means I’m interested in having sex right away. How long do I wait? Second date? Two months? What would Wilf do?
Sincerely,
Sexless University Student
Dear Sexless University Student,
In regards to what Wilf would do in your situation based on the beliefs of his time, I’d say he’d probably applaud your self-discipline and advise you to keep your mouth shut when it comes to the particularly taboo topic of sex. Unfortunately, women of today are not as enthusiastic and the expectations of modern society have gone the other way. So I would have to disagree with old Wilf on this one and say that your sexual intentions are definitely worth discussing. But with this being said, let’s not be too hasty. You say you’ve only been on a first date with this girl and as important as it is to establish what you want out of a relationship, what is there to establish when there is barely a relationship there? Get to know her first before addressing whether or not you want to know her in that way. Who knows, she may even be the one you end up cashing in that old V-card for in the long run, but until you figure that out there are lots of subtle ways you can get across what you want out of your time together that doesn’t involve a confrontation. Be affectionate instead of suggestive with your actions and choose activities that aren’t overly intimate. If she does happen to make a first move just explain that you want to take things slow if you’re not ready to give her the full story just yet. It is true that some university relationships are primarily about exploring sexuality, not just for guys I assure you, and if she becomes impatient then you need to find someone looking for the same things as you are, there are girls like that too. Just go at your own pace and stay confident in what you want, there is no way of telling what she is or isn’t assuming at this point and you may be pleasantly surprised.
Submit your questions for What would Wilf do? (WWWD) to wilf@thecord.ca. Responses are based on hypothetical and humourous assumptions of what the university’s namesake would do by various Life staff writers, the Managing Editor Katie Flood and other individuals from The Cord Editorial Board.
