What would Wilf do?

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I started working a new job two months ago. Itโ€™s a local one in my home town. I worked hard to get the jump on the summer rush for jobs by starting in April and commuting between exam period. But after a month of working here, all the employees from last summer have come back and Iโ€™m beginning to feel like the new girl more than ever. Maybe Iโ€™m being paranoid, but I feel like they all know that Iโ€™m the weakest link at work. I can feel them giving each other looks when I do something that is not the way they normally do things. I am trying to get on everyoneโ€™s good side, I always bring in extra coffee or even booster juice for the other girls that are working, but it doesnโ€™t seem to change much. I like my job, but feeling like Iโ€™m constantly getting disapproving looks just makes me want to quit.

What would Wilf do?

The New Girl

Dear NG,

I reckon we go back to basics: the purpose and expectations of your job. No doubt about it, when you applied for this job, your main focus was to earn cash and dash โ€” with the bonus of establishing a few friendships. The return of the employees from the previous summer has, alas, left you under the impression that youโ€™re being stigmatized. However, there are plenty of advantages with being the โ€œnew girlโ€ โ€” you just havenโ€™t thought of it yet.

To them, you are a mystery. To you, they are distinctive. The commonality between you and โ€œthemโ€ is the fact that youโ€™re all qualified to work there โ€” you werenโ€™t hired fortuitously. With that said, there is no reason why you should feel as if you are the weakest link. But, with that said, the fact that youโ€™re already assuming that youโ€™re the weakest link is most likely why you feel so paranoid and isolated. Basically, youโ€™re selling yourself short and probably to your co-workers as well. It sounds as if youโ€™re prematurely reacting based on your own perceptions โ€” assuming youโ€™re the underdog and trying to win their approval by bringing in extra coffee. Indeed, youโ€™re being thoughtful, but for all the wrong reasons. You donโ€™t need the validation of anyone except your boss.

Begin to take control of the situation instead of letting the situation control you; go outside your comfort zone. The best bet is to be proactive among your co-workers, ask questions and offer help if you feel as if they need it. Give them what you have to offer a co-worker before you try and offer yourself as a friend. Most importantly, focus on being the best employee you can be โ€” it leaves your co-workers no choice but to respect you. After all, tough love breeds champions.

All the best,

Sir Wilf


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