Unethical life hacks to use sparingly


University is a busy time for everyone. Students are constantly juggling school, jobs, relationships and extra-circulars, not to mention trying to figure out what to do in life once university wraps up. With the constant busyness of life, it’s no surprise that “life hacks” circulate online daily. They provide shortcuts to make everyday tasks faster, easier or more convenient.

But what about the life hacks that are a bit more mischievous? There are countless unethical shortcuts that can be taken, which circulate online less frequently.

DISCLAIMER: These are unethical life hacks. Tread lightly and use sparingly to avoid being a dirt bag. Alternatively, read them and laugh, but don’t use them.

1. When telling a lie, add an embarrassing element to your story — people are less likely to question your honesty if you’ve admitted to something humiliating. “I couldn’t finish my part for the group presentation because I had an upset stomach and was making constant trips to the bathroom.” Are your group members going to ask you to elaborate on that? No way. You just bought yourself an extra day to do your work.

2. At a packed bar and can’t get a drink? Find the most attractive person there and hit on them. They probably won’t be interested and will take off — now you’ve got a spot at the bar. Alternatively, if your plan backfires and they are interested, you’re now talking to the best looking person in the room.

3. When buying something at the store, tell the cashier you don’t need bags and save the 5 cents. After your transaction is complete, say “on second thought, can I grab a bag?” The cashier won’t want to ring through 5 cents on its own and will give you a bag for free.

4. Post a fake job listing for the type of job you want. You’ll get dozens of resumes and cover letters allowing you to check out the competition. BONUS: The competition just applied to yet another job without hearing back — that’s disheartening and makes your job search a little bit easier.

5. Go to a funeral. Eat free cake.

6. Having trouble regularly finding a parking spot? Put a traffic cone down to reserve your spot when you leave. There’s a good chance no one will touch it. After all, have you ever moved a pylon?

7. If you find an item you want on Kijiji, make a posting for the same item, only a bit cheaper. Use it as a negotiating technique. (Hint: don’t make the price too low or you will get a ton of emails).

8. Collect buy-one-get-one coupons from restaurants. Offer to make a food run at work and take orders. Use the coupons, pocket the difference.

9. If you’re going out with a group of people for the first time, tell them you don’t usually drink. There’s a good chance they’ll offer to buy you a drink … or seven.

10. Agree to the terms and conditions without reading them.

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