UN marks new international day

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World Radio Day, International Mother Language Day, International Day for Happiness, International Day of Solidarity with Detained and Missing Staff Members, International Day of Human Space Flight, English Language Day, World Migratory Bird Day, International Day of Friendship, International Day of Democracy, and World Toilet Day (yes, really). The aforementioned ‘international days’ are only a few of the 116 official International Days declared by the United Nations.

To make it 117 official international days, Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the UN, while speaking at a press conference following a UNGA meeting, declared March 2 the international international day day: official day of international days.

Ban, along with representatives of each UN member state, recognized the importance of setting aside an official day to celebrate other international days.

According to Ban, setting aside an International International Day Day has been at the top of UN’s agenda for the last couple of months. Ban declared that, although it took a while to get the proposal into the General Assembly, he never had a doubt that “all 193 members of the Assembly would be on board.”

Ban proceeded to state that celebrations of the International International Day Day would begin with a reflective conference to be held in New York.

During this conference, a group of experts would literally reflect on all the International Days over the past year. They would engage those present — and those watching from home — in their analysis international days, with the hope of not only raising awareness about these international days, but also to generate innovative ideas for new, exciting international days.

Furthermore, several speeches would be given from inspirational world leaders, past and present, including Ugandan President, Yoweri Museveni; Sudanese President, Omar Al-Bashir; Congolese President, Joseph Kabila; and most importantly, former US president, George W. Bush, who is well known for saving the world from Iraq’s “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

The celebrations of the International International Day Day will conclude with a display of fireworks, which, according to Moon, would cost more than those displayed at the Sochi Winter Olympics.

Moon concluded his remark by urging those who celebrate any of the 116 international days to come out and celebrate yet another international day, which he described as “the international day of international days.” Unsurprisingly, his remark was met with a standing ovation from the audience.

His announcement was met with great glee from the international community at large. Wendell Simlin, a Swiss diplomat, expressed his joy in what he calls “the most anticipated international day in the history of international days.”

The highlight of the day, however, came from flamboyant Canadian diplomat, Justhin Beebba, who hysterically lauded Ban and the United Nations for their “electrifying thoughtfulness in setting aside a day to celebrate other international days.”

The International International Day Day comes a day after the Zero Discrimination Day, and a day before World Wildlife Day, making the first three days of March a festive period.

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