The truth about Laurier

10 things brochures won’t tell you about Laurier

1) People do walk on the Hawk and they get great pleasure from doing it.

2) Never trust anything the nurses at Health Services tell you, especially if they say that you are “okay” and you don’t think you are.

3) The dining hall closes at the most convenient meal times and everything always looks better than it tastes.

4) We have terrible technology. WebCT – the online educational software you need to complete your course work – will crash; wireless Internet only works in certain buildings; LORIS, the online registration system, can’t handle all the students trying to register for classes at the same time; there are not enough laptop outlets.

5) We have a Brantford campus; it’s like the cousin you never speak of.

6) There is not enough study space, especially during exams.

7) Classes are held in a renovated elementary school across the street.

8) The A.C. is always to crowded to get the exercise machine you want, unless you go at 8:30 a.m.

9) Students voted the library as the best place to have sex on campus.

10) The students’ union will renovate the 3rd floor of the FNCC every year, without fail.

10 things that are actually true about Laurier

1) The campus is over 60 per cent female. Most of these females are blonde.

2) Orientation Week is just as crazy as you’ve heard. It’s filled with hundreds of screaming volunteers everywhere you turn; Winter Carnival is a drunk version of this.

3) Laurier is a small school; so small that you will run into the one person you are avoiding twice in the same day.

4) Laurier students really do party harder than UW students, no matter what those fucking engineers tell you.

5) Five years to finish your undergrad at WLU is never frowned upon.

6) Everyone really does get involved in something (this is why it takes many five or plus years to finish a degree).

7) You can get to any of your classes in five minutes.

8) During the winter, nearly every Laurier girl can be spotted wearing Ugg boots and tights.

9) Biz kids think they are better than everyone else.

10) Laurier students really do love Laurier.