Nov. 3, 2010

Dear Life,

My generous finance prof was going to move our weekly quiz from Friday to Saturday so we didn’t have to write it the same day as our accounting midterm. But some students couldn’t write it during the day on Saturday because it’s “their Sabbath” so the quiz didn’t get moved. What a joke. I could make up anything and defend it by saying “it’s a matter of faith.” Whether the claim is about the Torah or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, no accommodations should be made for them in this secular institution.

Sincerely,
Welcome to the 21st Century

Dear Life,

Imagine this… you actually find a spot to study in the Concourse, beside a plug I might add, prime real estate. As the book cracks open, the sound of Ke$ha pierces your ears, you turn around to see whats all the commotion about and the sight is like a train wreck, you can’t turn away. Thirty Golden Hawks, attempting some sort of dance which resembles a dog humping a ball. Isn’t the gym or theatre auditorium perfect for these travesties? Please respect the eyes and ears of everyone in the concourse.

Sincerely,
So You Think You Can Dance?..DON’T

Dear Life,

Why can’t people respect the fact that I don’t like Hallowe’en? I’m sick of everyone giving me weird looks and questioning my views. Have some respect, give me a break, and stop forcing it on me!

Sincerely,
I effin hate Hallowe’en

Dear Life,

Why is it that the DAWB is so cold that I can see my breath, when the girl’s bathroom located in the hallway near the Concourse is SWELTERING??!!
I sweat more in there than I do at the gym! Bathrooms in general don’t smell pleasant, so whose brilliant idea was it to cook the female students in the women’s washroom/OVEN?

Sincerely,
Thanks a heap Laurier, I now smell like a sweaty towel bin from the AC

Dear Life,

Why do people think it’s okay to practice dance moves to blaring music in the Concourse all weekend? If your roommates kicked you out for being annoying pieces of shit, don’t you think the 100 people studying in the Concourse feel the same way about you?

Sincerely,
This is a university, not a playground

Dear Life,

I’m feeling really down on you right now. This crazy holiday season is about to get the best of me with exams and things at home and with friends and I just get so overwhelmed. Everyday when I wake up, it takes to much will-power to get out of that bed and start my day.

Sincerely,
I’ll go talk to LCC… wait that’s wrong, I meant LSPIRG, or maybe Laurier Secrets where I know they’ll listen to me and help me out

Dear Life,

Have you ever noticed that whenever it rains WLU becomes like the Titanic? There’s water everywhere and not enough room for everyone.

Sincerely,
Studying out on a floating piece of wood

Dear Life,

Why are my courses not even slightly challenging?

Sincerely,
Why not just give me my degree now?

Comments are closed.