In review: WolfCop

WolfCop played at Princess Twin Cinemas on July 3.

WolfCop played at Princess Twin Cinemas on July 3.

It may be the summer, but that doesn’t mean people have to wait until Halloween to watch scary movies. On July 3, Waterloo’s Princess Twin Cinemas showed a not-so-classic horror movie WolfCop.

That’s right, the movie is actually called WolfCop, and it is exactly what you think it is. Whatever werewolf and police officer combo you are imagining right this second is exactly what the movie is about. This movie both attempts and succeeds at being as much of a joke as the title itself. Writer and director Lowell Dean has been known for his out-of-the-box movies, but this certainly takes the cake.

WolfCop does not waste any time in establishing how corny the next hour and 20 minutes will be. The main character’s name is Lou Garou. For those who didn’t attend French class, “loup garou” is French for werewolf. Can you say cheesy? Pardon my French.

Lou is an alcoholic deputy sheriff who works in a small town where he is constantly messing up. After a solid few minutes of character development, Lou suddenly wakes up to a full moon after a satanic ritual turns him into the terrifyingly put-together werewolf.

Naturally, you would think the werewolf Lou would wreak havoc upon the town by night, and the human Lou would investigate during the day. Wrong. They decided to have Lou fight crime as a werewolf.

In essence, the plot involves a group of ancient shape shifters who sacrifice werewolves so they can continue their existence throughout the ages. However, the story takes awkward pauses, flashbacks and random scenes of gore to divert attention from the weak storyline. It has no lack of gruesome scenes in which arms are ripped off, faces are sliced and eyeballs are impaled.

These scenes may seem over the top, just wait until the wolf cop himself has a strangely forced sex scene with the female counterpart. They literally had a werewolf-on-human sex scene in a jail cell. That is not just bad movie making, it is just wrong.

If you are a big fan of ridiculous horror-comedies and would like to see a werewolf using a machine gun, then WolfCop is right up your alley. In fact, this is probably the type of film which is best seen either inebriated or as an excuse to eat movie theatre popcorn.

However, I will say the soundtrack wasn’t awful. Some classic ‘80s hits were scattered throughout the chaos, which made it at least decent to listen to. Other than that, WolfCop has almost zero redeeming qualities. And can you believe that they’re locked in for a sequel? WolfCop Too is already in the works and should be good to go by the beginning of next summer. It’s safe to say I won’t be in attendance.

 

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