Floorcest: the inevitable and unavoidable


(Photo by Heather Davidson)

Let’s be honest: the first people you meet when you move to university are the ones who live in your residence and, more specifically, on your floor. So it’s not unusual for them to be the first ones you hook up with.

With mostly co-ed floors, Laurier’s residences are just asking for the drama that comes with floorcest, a term that best describes the hook-ups between floor mates.

It’s unavoidable that floorcest is going to happen sooner or  later but with a few flawless tips, you eager first years can better deal with a sometimes sticky situation.

Even though it is possible to keep intra-floor hook-ups on the down-low for a while, it is inevitable that everyone on the floor, or quite possibly the entire residence, will know.

There is no need to scream down the hall letting everyone know that you two are hooking up, but definitely don’t be taken aback if a few people knock on your door and ask for the juicy details. It is only a matter of time until someone catches you walking out of each other’s room at 2 a.m. after a steamy Turret night.

Being on the same floor with the person you’re currently hooking up with or have hooked up with in the past can be hard, especially when it’s not exclusive.

Be sure not to complain or catch feelings when you see your favourite floor mate with another “friend.” Sometimes it’s okay to feel a little disheartened, but please don’t blow it for everyone else on the floor. Everybody love everybody.  So, we’ve established that everyone on your floor knows what’s going on but they don’t need to know too much.

Don’t criticize your partner to everyone on the floor and be sure not to spill too much information about someone else’s sensual side. No one likes it when someone kisses and tells. It only looks bad on you when you blab about your hook up. If you don’t want to harm your reputation, don’t talk about your sex life. Let your floor mates form their own opinions about the situation, don’t give in to the peer pressure to tell all.

This rule applies to all Laurier hook-ups, there are just some things that should be left unsaid. Even though you’ve seen each other naked, it doesn’t mean you can’t still have a normal and healthy conversation.

Your best bet is to get the always-awkward first encounter post-hook-up, done as soon as possible. When you are hanging with the rest of your floor, try to block out your vision of you two sucking face on the dance floor.

The longer you avoid each other, the more awkward things will get. Trust me. Finally, the best part about floorcest is that after a ratchet night out  you get to go back to your own bed.

Though cuddling isn’t always bad, isn’t crashing in your own bed way more practical? You’re on the same floor and you’re more than likely going to wake up to each other anyway. You might as well get a good night’s sleep and therefore ready to tackle that early CP 102 class.

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