Five phrases that really need to stop

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(Graphic by Alex Watson)

5. โ€œCool story, broโ€

Example: โ€œI was so drunk with all my friends last night. I have friends and I get drunkโ€. โ€œCool story, bro. Can I hear it again?โ€

It was a cool story, and donโ€™t call me โ€œbroโ€. I get that you are being sarcastic but there are better ways to be funny. You are trying to be funny, right? The phrase derived from Superbad and eventually found itโ€™s way onto t-shirts and Facebook memes. At first this quick retort was a brilliant response; perfect for dismissing someoneโ€™s irrelevant statements. Feed us this line once in a while, but please donโ€™t jam it down our throats every ten seconds. Unfortunately that advice is too late, weโ€™re already choking on this overused response.

4. โ€œFTB: For The Boysโ€

Example: โ€œLetโ€™s go muck some pizza then get drunk, FTB.โ€

As long as there are hockey players, โ€œFTBโ€ will live on. No matter what you are doing, it is always โ€œfor the boysโ€. You may ask, who are these โ€œboysโ€ that we are constantly doing things for? Your friends and teammates are the boys. This phrase is way of showing your unselfish ways. A sense a community is created if you reassure the people around you that everything you do, you do it with, and for your boys. FTB people arenโ€™t hard to find either: just look for the guys with the long hair wearing a snapback hat, preferably a Bass Pro Shop one – in Canada, there is bound to be one 25 meters from you at all times. Just when you think this was the most annoying phrase, you hear some girl yell, โ€œSlumber party FTGโ€. Thatโ€™s right, โ€œFor The Girlsโ€. As much as we all want this to end, I think FTB and sadly FTG have at least another two years left in them. Just stay clear of fraternities.

3. โ€œSorry not sorryโ€

Example: โ€œHey Julia! Totally drank all of our wine coolers that I bought with my roommates. Sorry not sorry!โ€

Itโ€™s either one or the other, folks.

2. โ€œThat awkward moment when…”

Example: โ€œThat awkward moment when youโ€™re so drunk at a party and you run into your ex boyfriend.โ€

I will personally pay to have this phrase removed from the world, just name your price. The word โ€œawkwardโ€ use to be such a beautiful piece of the English language. Suddenly, teen girls kidnapped โ€œawkwardโ€ and turned it into a repulsive sound of nothingness. At first, they chopped it into โ€œawksโ€ which if you perk your ears up can still hear being used. Although teen girls murdered โ€œawkwardโ€, Twitter was undoubtedly the accomplice. The hash tag โ€œ#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen…โ€ went viral and everyone played their part in the crime. How could you not? It was an easy path towards a retweet. Now people use the phrase to describe scenarios that donโ€™t even make sense. โ€œThat awkward moment when Iโ€™m hungry and there is nothing in the fridge.โ€ No, thatโ€™s not awkward, thatโ€™s laziness. Just stop.

1. โ€œYOLOโ€

Example: โ€œOn my way to cover my forearm with a Marilyn Monroe tattoo even though it will look like Queen Elizabeth when turn I 45, YOLO!โ€

Infamously coined by Canadian hip-hop artist Drake, YOLO is an acronym which stands for โ€œYou Only Live Onceโ€; although Buddhists may disagree. In other words, YOLO is an excuse for people to do whatever the hell they want. It has become more than a phrase; it is a way of life. You only live once, so why not spend your tuition on a new car? You only live once, so why not cheat on your significant other? You only live once, so why not take advice from a song featuring Lilโ€™ Wayne? YOLO has become a cultural phenomenon. Drake said, โ€œHere, use this termโ€ and we said โ€œNo thanksโ€, and then he held a gun to our head. Itโ€™s hard to tell when someone is using YOLO ironically or if they are actually stupid, I suppose that is the beauty of the term. However, it needs to go.

 

By Michael Porfirio


  1. Liz Frolick Avatar

    Great job, and I couldn’t agree more.

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