Feb 9, 2011

Dear Life,

Thanks for that “Gold and Purple” video. I didn’t think it was possible for a music video to bring my I.Q. down, but apparently the geniuses behind that video proved me wrong. I expected better out of university students in terms of content and production. Then again, since it was ripped off from high school students, that standard doesn’t really apply.

Sincerely,
Someone who needs to stop defending Laurier

Dear Life,

Why is it I always seem to get stuck in the same computer labs late on a Friday or Saturday night as the people who use them in groups to play computer games?

Sincerely,
I just want to finish this essay and go home and drink, I don’t need to be surrounded by people with even less of a social life than me

Dear Life,

If I could, I’d take a big giant shit all over the stupid hawk. Hearing Ambassadors tell incoming students that it’s a ‘tradition’ that we Laurier students don’t walk on the hawk is like telling them that it’s a ‘tradition’ that we don’t sit in the chairs in the classrooms, we don’t eat in the Terrace and we don’t take books out at the library. If you don’t want people walking on the hawk, don’t put it in the fucking floor!!

Dear Life,

It is with greatest pleasure that I thank the voting and non-voting population of Laurier for allowing the AC expansion referendum to pass. Thank you for supporting this increase to student fees for something that none of us will be able to enjoy for ourselves. I’m sure future Laurier students will enjoy paying these fees for the next 10 years to come.

Sincerely,
Glad I’m almost gone and don’t have to endure this stupidity much longer

Dear Life,

A great thanks to whomever found my hat on the 2nd floor of Bricker Academic on Tuesday, February 1st. I greatly appreciate you putting it on the railing for me to see on my way to the stairs after my French class.

Sincerely,
Too cheap to buy another hat

Dear Life,

Why do the girls at Laurier wear sweatpants and Uggs to class? When did they become so damn lazy? Maybe cut back on Starbucks, and buy a pair of jeans.

Sincerely,
The guy trying to jerk off in the library cubicle

Dear Life,

When you eat in the same room as me I want to punch you in the face. Chew with your mouth shut.

Sincerely,
Your Roommate

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