For many of us, the phrase โnew year, new meโ offers a chance to shed ourselves of the failures and missed opportunities of the year before, giving way to a fresh start โ and with it, the possibility to begin again.
This year, after legally changing my last name, I will have the chance to take that phrase more literally than most.
Though I wonโt go into the details of it, I made the choice to change my name to better reflect the person I want to be and the people Iโd prefer to be associated with.
In the past few years, Iโve found myself a part of a new family โ though that is not to say Iโm completely cutting ties with my biological one.
There is an odd and significant stigma surrounding men changing their surnames, especially when itโs their female partners surname that theyโre taking.
The expectation that we have become comfortable with is that women will either have to take their significant otherโs or keep their own โ yet the inverse is never discussed.
While Iโm sure I will receive a number of cocked eyebrows, slightly pursed lips and befuddled glances when I mention it, the conviction I hold behind this decision is indefinite.
I am a firm believer that, while we cannot choose our family, one of the most important choices you make is who you choose to hold close to your heart.
For me, the latter has always represented who I connect most strongly with.
Because of that, it would seem the right choice to have my name reflect that.
My girlfriendโs family has treated me with an endless amount of kindness, unconditional love, support and more than I think I deserve.
Though they would never ask or expect it of me, I suppose this is one way for me to repay that kindness.
Beyond that, after over four years of being together, I believe that I can firmly disregard of any of the naysaying comments that people will probably say to me like, โBut what if you two donโt work out? What happens then?โ
Thankfully, because itโs just a name, it can be changed to something else.
I realize it would be a hassle, but itโs an easier change to make than something like a tattoo โ and people make the decision to get those a lot more impulsively.
At the end of the day, I wanted to do something that reflected the significant changes Iโve made in the past few years. I wanted to show my commitment to the idea that Iโm a different person than the man I got my last name from and Iโve grown to deserve something better.
Itโs frightening sometimes how much we change in such a short period of time โ and it can be a bit overwhelming.
When looking at your New Yearโs resolutions this year, remember why youโre doing them.
Change should be about adapting yourself to the person youโre becoming.
Sometimes change is slow and takes a while, sometimes itโs immediate and impulsive. Other times, itโs a resonation inside yourself that demands action against apathy.
At the end of the day, I did this for myself โ and for my future happiness.
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