Dear Life – Nov 11 2015

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dear Professor,

We’ve submitted two very small assignments, and still have no grades in this class. The deadline to drop without failure is in a week. You lack a sense of urgency.

Sincerely,

How is this allowed?

Dear Life,

Why do you penalize me a whole letter grade for one little mistake in citations?

Do you really think I will be doing a lot of citing while working at Chapters?

You know, there really are more important things in life to worry about.

Sincerely,

where do i place that comma?

Dear Life,

Sometimes, trust is really hard to get back. It’s going to take a little more work.

Sincerely,

I’m not as bad of a person as you think I am.

Dear Life,

Hey

I just noticed I can get a bottle of water on campus again.

We make such a fuss about ‘doing the right thing’ when we decide not to allow anyone to sell water on campus and no fuss at all when we backtrack.

Sincerely,

the spin is everywhere

Dear Running Boy with Laptop,

You ran after me while I was in my own little world, I thought maybe you just needed directions and was very surprised when you said that I had caught your attention and you just had to talk to me and get my number. You said two things that I want to address. One was “call me desperate” the other was “I’m confused” in response to my answer.

First, you are not desperate. It took a lot of courage to go up to a girl you don’t know, ask for her number and risk rejection. Good for you! I respect that bravery and I sincerely meant when I said I was flattered and appreciated it.

Second though is you need to respect my answer and receive my reasoning without objection. I genuinely have a boyfriend of 3 years. I felt it was my obligation as a committed girlfriend to tell you this and move on. What is confusing about that? Don’t assume I’m lying to get rid of you. Please know that I respected your courage but you need to respect my answer.

Sincerely,

Why can’t we be friends?

Dear Life,

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely

And you’re never coming round

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired

Of listening to the sound of my tears

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous

That the best of all the years have gone by

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified

And then I see the fuckin look in your eyes

Turnaround bright eyes, fuckin every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight

And I fuckin need you more than ever

And if you only hold me tight

We’ll be holding on forever

And we’ll only be making it right

‘Cause we’ll never be wrong together

We can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)

I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark

We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I’m only falling apart

And there’s nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life

But now there’s only love in the dark

Nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight (And I need you now)

And I need you more than ever

And if you only hold me tight (And if you only)

We’ll be holding on forever

And we’ll only be making it right (‘Cause we’ll never be wrong)

‘Cause we’ll never be wrong together

We can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)

I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark

We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I’m only falling apart

And there’s nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

A total eclipse of the heart

A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes

Sincerely,

the Great White Buffalo- still roaming the pastures of your life

Dear Student Union coordinators,

Your passion and dedication to Laurier students does not go unnoticed. You are appreciated. Keep doing you.

Sincerely,

Not a rodent

Dear drivers,

Blinds spots aren’t a myth, they actually exist so PLEASE FUCKING CHECK YOURS BEFORE YOU NEARLY RAM INTO MY CAR. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Eyeballs exist for a reason

Dear Yang,

Why you hatin’?

Sincerely,

embrace your last name

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