Dear Life: January 15, 2013

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dear-Life-doneDear Arts Department,

Could you start your round of early acceptances already? Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Sincerely,

Desperately want to be accepted

 

Dear Laurier

Why do profs take so long to upgrade your marks to LORIS? They don’t seem official till they are on there.

Sincerely,

Student that is still waiting on one profs marks to be posted to MYLS and LORIS

 

Dear Life,

For a school that preaches Mental Health help to those who need it, I find it hard to believe when your profs assume you’re lying about your illness.

Sincerely,

Give me a break

 

Dear Editor-in-Chief,

Banging you in bed is my new years resolution.

Sincerely,

Did you miss me like I missed you?

 

Dear Everyone Around Me,

I don’t talk much, but I more than make up for it by watching and listening. I remember every word you say, how you say it and the faces and hand gestures you make. When you are stumbling with your words, I am thinking the exact words you want to, and eventually do, say. I know when you’re lying, I know when you secretly want to bang me, and I certainly know what you think of me. So don’t even try to hide anything from me. I am the best bullshit detector you know and I can read you like a dirty magazine.

Sincerely,

The Quiet One

 

Dear Student Body of Laurier

Stop being petty in Dear Life.

Sincerely,

I miss the funny times of Dear Life

 

Dear Life,

BOOBIES.

Sincerely,

14-year-old me

 

Dear Life,

To New Year’s resolutioners… FUCK YOU. You are not going to stick with your pathetic workout routine of biceps, chest, and abs. Don’t wait until mid-terms to quit, just do it now and stop taking up space in the AC.

Sincerely,

Fuck you fatty

 

Dear all Laurier students,

I think we should all act like the professional we all want to be when we are older. Nobody’s degree is better than the other. If we all had the same degree the world wouldn’t function and a our degree would seem worthless. So lets ALL grow up,stop acting like high schoolers and leave Dear Life for funny stories and crushes. Dear Life wasn’t made for nasty comments!

Sincerely,

A person who appreciates everyone’s gifts and knows what is means to be an adult/professional

 

Dear Guy Singing in the DH,

Please stop singing. It’s been half an hour already. You’re really starting to scare me.

Sincerely,

Don’t kill me

 

Dear OCAs,

Maybe the new year can bring forth new rules? no more off-limit-ness of your beautiful selves?

Sincerely,

hopeful first year

 

Dear Life,

Why are people so frustrating? Sometimes it’s almost tiresome being around people; one wrong thing said and everybody starts to judge. If you’re quiet, you can’t hold a conversation; if you’re talkative, you’re considered to be a loud-person, and if you’re opinionated, you’re just a loser whining about life because it didn’t work out for you.

Sincerely,

There’s something called personality: why are most people devoid of it?

 

Dear Life

I wanted to do something fun the other day. So what did my Dad suggest?…that I help him build a SNOW TOILET on our neighbour’s front lawn!! Love you Dad

Sincerely,

Could I get arrested for that? Whatever it was a RIOT!!

 

Dear Life,

After returning from a holiday back home it’s good to know Waterloo drivers still suck.

Sincerely,

I will sue your ass if you hit me.

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