‘Dear Life’ for April 2

(Graphic by Adele Palmquist)

(Graphic by Adele Palmquist)

Dear Life,
I don’t call my country a cunt, so please don’t call my Fraternity a frat.
Sincerely,
Sorry About The Vulgarity

Dear Life,
I should’ve learned some Hindi when I had the chance. I love English, but would’ve been cool if I knew two languages.
Sincerely,
Speak it well, can barely read it or write it.

Dear Sensitivity,
I’m all for fun and a good party. I support diversity and respect for all cultures. However, the cancellation of the Pikes “Jamaican Me Crazy” party is ridiculous. As pointed out in the opinion piece, Jamaica relies on tourists for national revenues, and suffers exclusion on the world market. But to become so upset about an issue like this makes little sense. When I think of Jamaica, I think “beaches, sun, Bob Marley”. What’s so wrong with having a theme party? Am I racist and ignorant for thinking of Jamaica in this sense? I don’t think the Pikes were making a jest of Jamaican culture, but rather raising money for charity and embracing a rich culture while having fun. But who am I to complain, I’m white and clearly insensitive.
Sincerely,
Diversity is going too far

Dear Life,
Please make that hottie at the library with the yellow laptop look my way just once more. I swear I’ll ask him for his number this time.
Sincerely,
the one that got away

Dear Life,
The Administration’s response to the ‘Dear Life’ regarding the alleged sexual assailant on Foot Patrol is inadequate. Simply because the person who wrote in for the Feb 12 issue cannot be reached, that doesn’t mean there isn’t massive amounts of work to do on this campus regarding sexism. Bureaucracy and police are not the only mechanisms for maintaining safety. Indeed, for many students, police are not safe people to ask for help. I suggest that we as a campus take steps to educate ourselves about our role is in producing rape culture and what we can do as individuals and collectively to ensure we do not participate in creating the conditions that make assaults on our campus possible. The statement by Holland-Brown is especially insulting. The appropriate way to report a “legitimate concern” is the one that keeps the survivor feeling safe and I resent the suggestion that whoever wrote in on Feb 12 is not able to choose appropriately for the mselves how to respond to their attacker.
Sincerely,
tired of laurier admin’s collaboration in rape culture on campus

Dear Annoying Dance People,
Can you not fill up the only 24 hour study space on campus with terrible blasting music and awful dance moves.
Sincerely,
Someone trying to graduate

Dear Life,
To the fellow in the hall of my apartment: I know that “TERM IS ALMOST OVER MAN!!!”,but it still isn’t over yet, and most of the students in this student housing apartment building have final essays to do still, including me. Kindly shut up and allow me to return to work.
Sincerely,
Grumpy

Dear Life,
The loss of Debrotnik’s saddens me. I wish I had more money to buy enough cookies to start the place up again.
Sincerely,
All of the students who have actually been there

Dear Life,
Is there life after residence life? How am I going to survive at home for four whole months!?
Sincerely,
First year goldenhawk who never wants to leave

Dear Life,
Why do the receptionists at the Laurier doctors clinic think it’s okay to talk about patients illnesses as soon as that person leaves the room? I was in the waiting room trying to mind my own business but that became a bit difficult when the only noise in the room was coming from the receptionists chatting very loudly about the girl who had just left and her very private, and embarrassing medical condition. I think this is unacceptable, unprofessional and completely immature.
Sincerely,
I wonder what they said about me when I left…

Dear Life,
Thanks for making me do 3 essays, 1 presentation, and a midterm in the last week of classes. Really loving the sitting on my chair all day.
Sincerely,
A miserable student

Dear Laurier aka Life,
Thanks for being good to me for the last four years. I cannot imagine a world outside of the Laurier community where everyone is as friendly and encouraging as the people here.
Sincerely,
Sad to be graduating

Dear Life,
We made it. Now what?
Sincerely,
Class of 2014

Dear Laurier Students,
I’d like to congratulate everyone on another great year. For those graduating and going on to do great things I congratulate you to! For those coming back have a great summer! Stay golden friends!
Sincerely,
A cheerful student.

Dear 2013/14 Ed Board,
You’re all a buncha nerds.
Sincerely,
2012/13 Ed Board RULES

Dear Life,
Ever made a decision that you’re not really sure was a good idea?
Sincerely,
We’ll see how this one plays out…

 

 

 

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