Dear Life: Exam Edition

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(Graphic by Adele Palmquist).
(Graphic by Adele Palmquist).

Dear Life,

Lifeโ€ฆ I really wouldnโ€™t mind some lemons right about now.

Sincerely,

I need a job

 

Dear Life,

I recently realized I am paying a significant amount of money to fund the AC and its management. Whoever hired the contracting company that employs mentally defective people to smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, sexually harass Laurier women, and render the facility useless due to leakingโ€ฆ drop the heaviest weight you can lift on the top of your head.Unfortunately, it probably isnโ€™t enough to kill you. Donโ€™t worry, your intelligence canโ€™t get any worse. PS: New yearโ€™s resolutionersโ€ฆ Spoiler alertโ€ฆ Youโ€™ll still be fat in 2014.

Sincerely,

Fuck you fatty

 

Dear Life,

Four years have come and gone, and while I was never someone who was outgoing or involved on campus, I thank everyone who got me to where I am today. Coming from a small town made me hesitant to attend university, but I am glad I chose Laurier. To those who are not graduating, I wish you the best of luck, and remember to stick with it. There were times when I thought I would never reach this day, but itโ€™s here, and it came way too fast. Congratulations Class of 2013, you did it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Sincerely,

Goodbye four-day workweek

 

Dear Life,

As a fourth-year Golden Hawk finishing my last few weeks of undergrad I have really come to know the truth behind the chant โ€itโ€™s great to be a Laurier Golden Hawkโ€. It is great. Golden Hawks are great. You are all great.

Sincerely,

Golden Hawk for life

 

Dear Life,

I understand that we have limited study space on campus, now that the Dining Hall has gone all East Germany on us. But it is getting really frustrating to have the classrooms and study areas in the music building taken up by non music students. We have a hard enough time trying to book rehearsal/study space for ourselves due to only a few rooms being available, and constant double booking. It gets that much harder when other students come in and take up our rooms so that they can play online games and other things. This is not me having an issue with non music students, I have many friends that are no in the music program. But please respect our limited space and find another place to study, game, watch porn, or whatever floats your boat.

Sincerely,

Why would you game in A509? the wifi sucks there!

 

Dear Laurier,

I know that accepting more students=making more money but during exam time when it takes an hour to find a spot to study or like today, where the only available spot with an outlet is on the floor of a stairwell it might be time to do something about the overcrowding issue. Oh but I forgot #itsgreattobeaLaurierGoldenHawkโ€ฆ..

Sincerely,

I canโ€™t feel my legs

 

Dear Life,

To the non-music students who were trying to study in the music students lounge, donโ€™t give me dirty looks — none of us get any work done in there, and neither will you.

Sincerely,
LETโ€™S PLAY SCATTEGORIES!

 

Dear Life,

I approve of this weather. Then again, my grades might not.

Sincerely,
Sunbathing.. erโ€ฆ studying

 

Dear Life,

When it getโ€™s this warm, you put on the A/C in the buses.. it makes sense.

Sincerely,
If I wanted a sauna, Iโ€™d go to Iceland

 

Dear Life,

Cheese

Sincerely,
Nachos

 

We’ll be posting more Dear Life entries throughout exams. Send your submissions to dearlife@thecord.ca or click here to submit through our website.


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