Cord-o-scopes: September 12, 2012

Virgo (Aug.23 – Sept. 22)

Do not get overly excited when checking out the new merch at the bookstore. You don’t want to dip into your beer-savings fund

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

We all are obsessed with using YOLO to excuse us from all silly behaviours but when your Don writes out your drinking violation, you’re going to have to have to come up with something better.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Watch out! That freshman 15 could literally be right around the corner. Burrito Boyz, Menchies, Frat Burger, pace yourselves Scorpio! It’s only the first week.

Saggitarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

First impressions in lecture are extremely important if you want to have a successful semester. Looking up pics of One Direction or your “social” night at Phils should be saved after class. You are paying to go to school and learn something right?

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

We all have our fair share of walk of shames but try not to do one every single morning during this week. It’s not healthy always being “too friendly”.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

Leave a bit early if you want to get to class on time, the traffic on campus gets squishy and will tempt you to break a Laurier tradition. But don’t challenge the power of a floor: even if your toe accidentally touches the Hawk, you will get yelled at.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

Arguing with your roommate already? Only two ways to solve it: passive-aggressive snipes towards one another or couples therapy.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Stay away from Bricker Residence if you want to avoid drinking violations. Yeah, we know: it sucks to be underage. You’ll grow up soon.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your Don doesn’t approve of your contraband but making up nasty rumours about them to “get even” is not going to make the next eight months easier.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you can’t remember the names of the people on your same floor, how the heck are you going to memorize your disorganized lecture notes? Start practicing.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You will find yourself in a tug-o-war of wanting to get WILFs Spin Dip and debating whether or not you’re willing to wait over 45 minutes to get it served to you.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

We don’t have to worry about you not getting enough fun and action during the first month of school. What we are worried of is how many of those “interactions” will end up in your first-year Poli-Sci lecture.

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