Cord-o-scopes: November 28, 2012

Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)
Stay away from candy canes.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)
When the Christmas specials start towards the end of the month, just binge-watch them all.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)
Three words: No. More. Nog.

Pisces (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20)
This month, be more Schwarzenegger and a little less Sinbad.

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 20)
Plan a trip. When it inevitably falls through, take a step back and think about how weird it would be if knees bent the other way…

Taurus (Apr. 21 – May 21)
Don’t leave your shopping until the 24th. This will result in socks and LMFAO CDs on Christmas.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)
Make sure you use your break to relax. And to make cookies.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
On the 6th, avoid the colour pink. On the 7th, avoid the singer Pink.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
You’re going to have the urge to burst into song and dance on the 13th.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 23)
A new car will fall into your possession. Hope you like Hot Wheels.

Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)
Remember Sugar Jones?

Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)
Group photos will be your enemy month. Well, not so much group photos as much as your hair not cooperating.