Cord-o-scopes: Jan. 6, 2010

Scorpio (Oct. 22 to Nov. 21): Welcome to Waterloo, located in the snow belt. Hopefully you had the good sense to ask for a pair of snowshoes for Christmas.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21): This winter break you were a little bored and now you’re looking forward to heading back to your exciting life at university. Unfortunately your partying days are limited as you are now on academic probation and must pend every weekend in the library.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19): Now that it’s winter it is no longer okay to wear tights instead of pants. Honestly, it’s never okay to do that, just as it’s not okay to pretend a shirt is a dress.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18): Venus has aligned itself with Saturn this month and you’re feeling a little adventurous, don’t be fooled. You don’t really want to go out and strain yourself by trying new things like rock climbing or auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance. Sit back, relax and turn on the TV where you can watch other people enjoy life instead.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20): You’ve been thinking that it’s time for a style makeover before starting off the new year. If you’re looking for inspiration, think Amy Winehouse meets Lady Gaga: you’ll be guaranteed to turn some heads.

Aries (March 21 to April 19): You’re going to feel an uncanny urge to apply yourself this semester and not pull any all-nighters trying to meet deadlines. Don’t worry, that will go away in a few weeks and you’ll be back to your old procrastinating self.

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