Arts bites: March 31, 2010

Livin’ La Vida Gay

In the most shocking coming-out-of-the-closet story since Clay Aiken, Latin music superstar Ricky Martin revealed that he is gay.

After dousing his hair with product, waxing his chest and wearing leather pants since the mid-’90s, Martin has finally issued a statement on his website, proclaiming that he no longer allows himself “to be seduced by fear and insecurity.”

He has been the father of twin boys since August 2008 and stated that to continue living a lie would “diminish the glow that my kids were born with.”

The “She Bangs” and “La Vida Loca” singer appears on the cover of Rolling Stone this week, and discusses in detail his newly discovered sexuality.

–Sarah Murphy

Successful musician fails to pay for her weave

R & B star Kelis lost a legal battle against a California hair salon this week after failing to pay the $5,000 price tag on her weave.

The singer, best known for her failed marriage to Nas and using her “milkshake” to bring all the boys to the yard, didn’t even bother showing up to her court appearance, causing the judge to rule in favour of the salon.

With the $50,000 plus Kelis receives monthly in spousal support alone, you would think she could afford to pay after getting her hair done.

–Sarah Murphy

Octomom becomes part of neutering campaign

In an incredibly bizarre turn of events, the group People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has swapped food and cash with Nadya Suleman.

Suleman, also known as the “Octomom”, received these goods in exchange for the placement of an advertisement on her property.

The sign reads “Don’t let your dog or cat become an ‘Octomom.’ Always spay or neuter.”

A mother of 14, Suleman gave birth to octuplets in January 2009, in addition to six children she already had.

According to CNN, Suleman has accepted the offer, agreeing to put the sign on her lawn.

This is an ironic move, given the fact that the “Octomom” could have benefited from the foresight provided by such a sign.

–Rebecca Vasluianu

Bimbos in 3D

In the midst of one of the least- promising acting careers in recent years, Heidi Montag of The Hills has discovered a new passion for script-writing.

The reality TV star has compiled a screenplay in which she is the main character who saves a small town from a shark attack using – wait for it – her 3D boobs.

She’s been preparing for the role by receiving numerous cosmetic operations.

Oh wait, she’s been doing that for her boyfriend Spencer Pratt for quite some time now.

–Sarah Murphy