Kim Kardashian has procreated
Kimmy K and Yeezy gave the world one of the first great scares of 2013 when they announced to the world that they are pregnant. West referred to Kardashian as his “baby mama” while performing which brings a whole new level of irony to his song “Golddigger.” There is no word on whether they will continue the Kardashian tradition of “K” names but here’s a suggestion: Kash Kow.
Studio execs falsely assume The Bachelor is still relevant
The “hit” reality TV show The Bachelor premiered Monday night making this its 17th season. This means we get to watch the beginnings of yet another failed Bachelor marriage while trying to not throw things at the television when Sean Lowe, this year’s Bachelor proclaims that his future wife is definitely in the room tonight.
Speaking of potentially terrible reality shows …
Swimming darling Ryan “Reezy” Lochte (Jeah!) has signed on to star in his own reality show What Would Ryan Lochte Do? Apparently we get to follow Lochte as he works on his fashion line, prepares for the Olympics and searches for love. The part that everyone is truly excited for is more Lochte quotes. Why would anyone ever give him a reality show? Because, racing.
Taylor Swift gets her heart broken. Again.
Taylor Swift can now cross “dating a prepubescent pop-star” off her boys of Hollywood list as the pair broke up yesterday. I give it three months before the songs about Harry Styles start popping up everywhere and two months before she latches herself onto whomever is culturally relevant and hilariously age-inappropriate.
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