The right person is out there for you

/

Graphic by Jessi Wood
Graphic by Jessi Wood

If there were a night class called โ€œSubtlety 101โ€ I should probably take it.

When I develop feelings for someone, Iโ€™ve been known to take the slightly more direct route: โ€œHi Iโ€™m Lindsay! I like you! Here is a compilation list of reasons why!โ€

Iโ€™ve asked myself why this is the way I am.

Sure, Iโ€™m confident, but that doesnโ€™t mean that unrequited love isnโ€™t painful (I use the word love loosely here).

I think whatโ€™s allowed me to be so open with my feelings over the years has been learning that we arenโ€™t all attracted to the same people.

Iโ€™m going to do it for some and Iโ€™m not going to do it for others.

I had this conversation with my best friend on the train last week. She spent several months living and working at a camp in British Columbia recently and almost never wore makeup.

She expressed that despite recently moving to downtown Torontoโ€”where people dress and behave much differently than out in the wildernessโ€”she wasnโ€™t feeling all that motivated to start getting all dolled up everyday.

โ€œThis is how I look. Some people will take it. Some will leave it,โ€ she said.

This is true for our appearances and our personalities.

If we were all attracted to the same people, things would be very tricky and uncomfortable. But this isnโ€™t the case; weโ€™re beautifully diverse people and we all have different tastes.

When I was in first-year, I lived next door to this wonderful guy named Adam.

He was, and continues to be, hilarious, kind and great company. His body seemed to be sculpted to the proportions of Michelangeloโ€™s โ€œDavidโ€ and probably couldโ€™ve been a male model.

However, I wasnโ€™t attracted to him romantically. He continues to be a close friend of mine, four years later. Even sexy Adam isnโ€™t everyoneโ€™s type, but everyone is someoneโ€™s type.

In a world of misreading Snapchats, overthinking text messages and general ambiguity, itโ€™s important to remember that no one else defines your self worth.

If someone doesnโ€™t return your feelings, it doesnโ€™t mean youโ€™re undesirable. They just werenโ€™t a good fit.

Even though it can really, really hurt when youโ€™re basically a walking hearts-in-the-eyes emoji and the object of your affection is fairly ambivalent, it doesnโ€™t mean that your value is lowered.

I was pretty young when I first fell in love and to this day have only actually been in love once.

Iโ€™m lucky that my first experience with it was a reciprocal and very special relationship.

I know how it feels to be in a loving, committed relationship.

I also know how it feels to think about someone about 68 times for every one time they think about you.

Iโ€™m not saying that when youโ€™re feeling the initial blow you canโ€™t be sad.

By all means, get that tub of ice cream or, in my case, an entire bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos.

Then, soon after, remember that one day youโ€™re going to be sitting in a coffee shop, at a bar, or on the train and someoneโ€™s going to walk into your life and love you for reasons you thought no one noticed.

Itโ€™ll mean so much more to you after all the times that it just wasnโ€™t quite right.


Leave a Reply

Serving the Waterloo campus, The Cord seeks to provide students with relevant, up to date stories. Weโ€™re always interested in having more volunteer writers, photographers and graphic designers.