If there were a night class called “Subtlety 101” I should probably take it.
When I develop feelings for someone, I’ve been known to take the slightly more direct route: “Hi I’m Lindsay! I like you! Here is a compilation list of reasons why!”
I’ve asked myself why this is the way I am.
Sure, I’m confident, but that doesn’t mean that unrequited love isn’t painful (I use the word love loosely here).
I think what’s allowed me to be so open with my feelings over the years has been learning that we aren’t all attracted to the same people.
I’m going to do it for some and I’m not going to do it for others.
I had this conversation with my best friend on the train last week. She spent several months living and working at a camp in British Columbia recently and almost never wore makeup.
She expressed that despite recently moving to downtown Toronto—where people dress and behave much differently than out in the wilderness—she wasn’t feeling all that motivated to start getting all dolled up everyday.
“This is how I look. Some people will take it. Some will leave it,” she said.
This is true for our appearances and our personalities.
If we were all attracted to the same people, things would be very tricky and uncomfortable. But this isn’t the case; we’re beautifully diverse people and we all have different tastes.
When I was in first-year, I lived next door to this wonderful guy named Adam.
He was, and continues to be, hilarious, kind and great company. His body seemed to be sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo’s “David” and probably could’ve been a male model.
However, I wasn’t attracted to him romantically. He continues to be a close friend of mine, four years later. Even sexy Adam isn’t everyone’s type, but everyone is someone’s type.
In a world of misreading Snapchats, overthinking text messages and general ambiguity, it’s important to remember that no one else defines your self worth.
If someone doesn’t return your feelings, it doesn’t mean you’re undesirable. They just weren’t a good fit.
Even though it can really, really hurt when you’re basically a walking hearts-in-the-eyes emoji and the object of your affection is fairly ambivalent, it doesn’t mean that your value is lowered.
I was pretty young when I first fell in love and to this day have only actually been in love once.
I’m lucky that my first experience with it was a reciprocal and very special relationship.
I know how it feels to be in a loving, committed relationship.
I also know how it feels to think about someone about 68 times for every one time they think about you.
I’m not saying that when you’re feeling the initial blow you can’t be sad.
By all means, get that tub of ice cream or, in my case, an entire bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos.
Then, soon after, remember that one day you’re going to be sitting in a coffee shop, at a bar, or on the train and someone’s going to walk into your life and love you for reasons you thought no one noticed.
It’ll mean so much more to you after all the times that it just wasn’t quite right.