
If there were a night class called โSubtlety 101โ I should probably take it.
When I develop feelings for someone, Iโve been known to take the slightly more direct route: โHi Iโm Lindsay! I like you! Here is a compilation list of reasons why!โ
Iโve asked myself why this is the way I am.
Sure, Iโm confident, but that doesnโt mean that unrequited love isnโt painful (I use the word love loosely here).
I think whatโs allowed me to be so open with my feelings over the years has been learning that we arenโt all attracted to the same people.
Iโm going to do it for some and Iโm not going to do it for others.
I had this conversation with my best friend on the train last week. She spent several months living and working at a camp in British Columbia recently and almost never wore makeup.
She expressed that despite recently moving to downtown Torontoโwhere people dress and behave much differently than out in the wildernessโshe wasnโt feeling all that motivated to start getting all dolled up everyday.
โThis is how I look. Some people will take it. Some will leave it,โ she said.
This is true for our appearances and our personalities.
If we were all attracted to the same people, things would be very tricky and uncomfortable. But this isnโt the case; weโre beautifully diverse people and we all have different tastes.
When I was in first-year, I lived next door to this wonderful guy named Adam.
He was, and continues to be, hilarious, kind and great company. His body seemed to be sculpted to the proportions of Michelangeloโs โDavidโ and probably couldโve been a male model.
However, I wasnโt attracted to him romantically. He continues to be a close friend of mine, four years later. Even sexy Adam isnโt everyoneโs type, but everyone is someoneโs type.
In a world of misreading Snapchats, overthinking text messages and general ambiguity, itโs important to remember that no one else defines your self worth.
If someone doesnโt return your feelings, it doesnโt mean youโre undesirable. They just werenโt a good fit.
Even though it can really, really hurt when youโre basically a walking hearts-in-the-eyes emoji and the object of your affection is fairly ambivalent, it doesnโt mean that your value is lowered.
I was pretty young when I first fell in love and to this day have only actually been in love once.
Iโm lucky that my first experience with it was a reciprocal and very special relationship.
I know how it feels to be in a loving, committed relationship.
I also know how it feels to think about someone about 68 times for every one time they think about you.
Iโm not saying that when youโre feeling the initial blow you canโt be sad.
By all means, get that tub of ice cream or, in my case, an entire bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos.
Then, soon after, remember that one day youโre going to be sitting in a coffee shop, at a bar, or on the train and someoneโs going to walk into your life and love you for reasons you thought no one noticed.
Itโll mean so much more to you after all the times that it just wasnโt quite right.
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