A quick and dirty guide for sexting

Graphic by Lena Yang

Graphic by Lena Yang

Sexting is a relatively new term but it is not a foreign concept to our tech-savvy generation. With apps like Tinder and Snapchat, young people are sexting left, right and center even if they’re not willing to admit it.

This digital sex-scapade is still considered taboo, much like the infamous one-night stand. Sexting is seen as shameful because it “supports” the devilish sexualization of our public media. A sexter should be muzzled and leashed because they’re obviously scum of society.

Wrong.

Sexting is arguably harmless nine times out of 10.

This mixing of sex and technology is progressive, and should be embraced rather than persecuted.

Before you start sexting like a maniac, let’s discuss that there are right and wrong ways to master this art.

Step one is consent

Don’t send a sexually explicit text to someone out of nowhere. If they’ve shown no signs that they are into you sexually discuss before you send off that first innuendo. Sexting can easily turn into harassment if the two parties are not on the same page. Consent should be the first point of any sexual encounter.

Be descriptive

When you find someone who wants to have a sexy conversation with you, adjectives are your best friend. Make your messages detailed and don’t forget proper grammar. Tell the recipient exactly what you plan to do and exactly what you’d like them to do in response. You’re sexting, damnit, don’t beat around the bush.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep

Don’t ever tell someone that you’re into something sexually that you actually aren’t into. The great thing about sexting is that you can learn about the likes and dislikes of a new sexual partner before you even have sex with them. It acts as a preview of what to expect. For example, if someone loves receiving oral sex, but you hate giving it, don’t tell him or her that you’ll do it just because it’s what he or she wants to read. When — or if — the time comes to actually have sex with this person, you will only let them down.

Be wary of sending photos or videos

For those in a long-distance relationship, sexy photos are a great way to keep the spark alive. However when sending nude photos to someone you aren’t in a caring relationship with, there’s always a chance the photo could be released publicly. It definitely shouldn’t be done without thinking about it first.

To all the gentlemen who like sending — for a lack of better words — dick pics, women actually put thought into their sexy photos. They use filters, seek out flattering lighting and take numerous photos to find that one perfect picture that’s worthy of sending. This is a total generalization, but guys should note that the same effort would be appreciated. A close up of your penis in a dark room isn’t sexy.

Avoid sexting people you haven’t met before

With rising the popularity of Tinder, talking to new people in a flirty way has become a new easy confidence boost. It is easy on Tinder to fall into racy conversations with people you haven’t even met and this can make it super awkward if you do actually meet in the future. This goes along with the advice on sending nude photos — if you start sexting someone you haven’t met on Tinder, expect your privacy to be jeopardized.

Reflection

Sexting can be fun if you’re safe about it, but it can also go wrong if you do it irrationally. That being said, don’t feel embarrassed if it’s something you enjoy doing because sexuality should never be the root of shame.  If you’re one of those people who judges others for sexting, get over it. Times are changing; sex is changing. 

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