Predicting the cast of the Tiger King biopic

I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that Nicholas Cage has been cast as Joe Exotic in the upcoming biopic based on his life.

Sure, I’m about a month late on all the Tiger King talk, but it’s always fun to speculate about the casting of a biopic, especially with such a primitive, dysfunctional group of people.

From Mandy to The Family Man, Face/off to National Treasure, Nicholas Cage seems to be able to pull off both temperamental lunatic and straight faced hero as well as anyone else. I doubt he’ll have any issues pulling off this power hungry egonaught.

As for the rest of the cast, not much else has been released. I thought it would be appropriate to take it upon myself to predict a completely improbable cast for the movie.

Here are my crude predictions for the upcoming film:

Jeff Lowe – Stanley Tucci

Honestly, Tucci can pull off any roll and if Pete Davidson writes a song about you, there’s clearly something going your way.

John Finlay – James Franco

After watching Franco in The Disaster Artist, Pineapple Express and Spring Breakers, I’m fully convinced he’s more than capable of portraying Finlay.

Franco is a massively underrated actor that is unfortunately mostly recognized for his comedic roles. Slap on some temporary tattoos, throw in a nasty grill and you’ve got your actor.

Carol Baskin – Gwyneth Paltrow

Hear me out. Have you ever seen Shallow Hal? Yes, it’s an extremely inventive and wildly out of date film but it’s hard to deny that Paltrow definitely has the skills to pull off this roll.

She’s shown her vast range of acting ability from movies like Se7en and The Royal Tenenbaums and even those who can’t stand the actress can’t bring themselves to hate Pepper Pots.

Erik Cowie – Ryan Gosling

Sorry, ladies, but I couldn’t think of anyone better for this roll. Gosling has played his fair share of “abnormal” characters – just go watch Lars and The Real Girls.

Believe it or not, Gosling is capable of being more than sex appeal and is more than suited to portray the foul-mouthed trainer.

Doc Antel – John Malkovich

Be honest with yourself. You could definitely see John Malkovich running a cult.

Howard Baskin – Matthew Broderick

Sorry, Ferris. I’m really only suggesting this because I think it would be hysterical.

If you’ve watched Tower Heist or the Netflix series Daybreak, you know Broderick has no issue playing the naive, submissive bootlicker.

Realistically, I can’t imagine the budget would ever be large enough to reel in all these actors. I’d be happy if even one of these actors were cast, if not only for the fact that for once I’d be right about something.

Although by the time this biopic is released we’ll all have forgotten about the documentary, wrapped up in some new mindless trend, I’m confident that this talented group of actors would not disappoint.