Jan 26, 2011

Dear Life,

When will this school invest in a proper workout center for the 16,000 people that go to this school — not the 3 students that enrolled in 1911? And, can the city of Waterloo find another swimming pool for all the little kids, instead of using the Laurier pool? The locker rooms are crowded enough already, and to have 30 wet little girls running around and complaining about their Grade 7 boy troubles and breast development concerns makes me want to slap somebody.

Sincerely,
Tired of Getting My Ass Molested in the Athletic Complex

Dear Life,

It irritates me when I am accused of not being a real Canadian due to my absolute hatred of winter. People like me who are 5’2”, 110 lbs, asthmatic, nowhere near athletic and have dry and obscenely sensitive skin, poor circulation, terrible sinuses and weak bones would hate winter regardless of where they were born.

Sincerely,
Not at All Built for Winter and STILL a Real Canadian

Dear Life,

Today sucked. Weather sucked, too much school, I’m getting sick. You just sucked today. And then I sat down in the Science Building between classes and saw the cutest couple ever. Holding hands and talking quietly between themselves about their Valentine’s Day plans. And they were gay.
Dear cute gay couple, you made my day. Not only does love still exist, but Laurier is open enough to have you guys feel free to be yourselves.

Sincerely,
It’s Those Little Things that Remind Me Why I Love Laurier

Dear Life,

To all the first years at WLU… yes university is exciting and you feel super special for being here. But no one cares about your tomato soup or whether or not you’re taking a bath. If you want to be loud and socialize go to the fucking concourse. Stop fucking singing and maybe focus on passing your courses.

Sincerely,
This is Pointed at You, Obnoxious Blonde Writing Your Biology Journal

Dear Life,

Why is everyone hating on everything else? Life will happen as it will and no matter how much complaining you do. Instead of getting angry and frustrated, find something to smile about.

Sincerely,
Smiles :)

Dear Life,

I’m disappointed that WLUSU elections have become all about “HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT GUY DID LOL HE’S SO CRAZY LMAO!!!!!!” and less about actually showing knowledge about the Union and relaying feasible platform goals to students.
Even most of the kids running in my high school Students’ Council elections at least pretended to take it seriously. If you’re voting for someone based on who has the funniest videos, who has the funniest costumes, or who has the funniest dances, go jump off the library.

Sincerely,
A Guy Who, For the First Time, Actually has Respect for Western and Thinks They Do Something Better Than Us

Dear Life,

I don’t understand why waiters/waitresses and bartenders from Wilf’s and the Turret are complaining about not receiving good enough tips when they can’t take orders properly, the service is crap, the food is garbage and takes an hour to show up, and they don’t even know how to make some of the most commonly ordered drinks…how can you not know how to make a sex on the beach?! Don’t expect tips when they’re undeserved.

Sincerely,
Be Happy You’re Getting Paid Minimum Wage by the Hour, You Don’t Even Deserve That!