How to maintain intimacy in a long-distance relationship

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Photo by Eva Ou

Valentine’s Day can feel like a form of victory when you have a designated individual to share it with. This day may also make you feel defeated when you have a partner but are in the midst of a long-distance relationship.

As it has been perpetuated, Valentine’s Day calls for extraordinary, social media-worthy acts of affection that ultimately places a lot of pressure on eager young couples in the dating pool.

What creates even more tension, however, is the geographical separation that you and your partner may be dealing with at this volatile and unpredictable time in your lives.

Our late teens and early twenties create a lot of opportunity for physical separation from our loved ones. Perhaps you’ve fallen in love as a teenager and your ambition to attend school in a different city was prioritized. Maybe your partner has gone to pursue a career in which you’ve found yourself being supportive from the sidelines — through phone calls and sparse visiting opportunities.

Whatever the case may be, this is your friendly reminder that love is manageable at a distance.

Notably, Valentine’s Day specifically provides significant others with a lot of opportunity for disappointment, and for those without the opportunity to share the day with your partner, that window of disappointed only increases.

The cliched idea of a perfect Valentine’s Day is daunting. Perhaps your own ideal is to spend the night in, binge-watching a series while indulging in ice-cream sundaes, or maybe something more extravagant like dinner at your favourite restaurant.

Be old-school romantic and  hand-write them a Valentine and mail it to them. If you’re craving a steamy moment, send them a couple of naughty texts to keep the sexual tension burning.

If your situation entails, perhaps you long for an especially nuanced moment of physical intimacy. But what if your significant other lives in a different city, province or country? Then Valentine’s Day may end up feeling like a missed opportunity or lost cause.

The good news is that you live in the year 2019, in which readily accessible technology is a norm and long-distance relationships can take on an entirely new premise when compared to 20 years ago.

The Valentine’s Days that I’ve spent without the company of my partner have definitely been challenging.

The silver lining is, however, that it creates an aspect of strength and resiliency within the relationship that puts flowers, chocolate and sex on the back-burner.

Use your long-distance Valentine’s Day to express your appreciation from a different angle. Relationships take a ton of work, but when you and your partner are putting in the effort to keep the connection strong over physical separation, there’s a lot to celebrate.

Long-distance relationships allow you to find a way to show your gratitude in a creative way. Share and enjoy your dinners over a video call.

Be old-school romantic and  hand-write them a Valentine and mail it to them. If you’re craving a steamy moment, send them a couple of naughty texts to keep the sexual tension burning.

Most importantly, be mindful that Valentine’s Day is a holiday of generalized purpose, and that all relationships are unique.

Although you may find yourself without your partner on this day of romance, being in a place of confidence about it will only benefit you when you eventually  find yourselves meeting in the middle once again.

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