Dear Life – September 6 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Dear Life,

Nothing says the start of school is approaching like people selling textbooks via Facebook posts.

Sincerely,

Ugh Another School Year

 

Dear Cord,

Thank you for submitting my Dear Life saying you guys suck monkey balls. Maybe you guys aren`t as sensitive as I thought

Sincerely,

You still suck monkey balls though

 

Dear Life,

I believe that living a perfect life revolves around three things.

1) Loving yourself.

2) Being yourself.

3) Finding someone who loves you for being yourself.

So Life, now I must ask you. Why is it that some have such difficulty accomplishing all three of these?

Sincerely,

Waiting To Be Loved

 

Dear Earth,

Why you so warm?

Sincerely,

my butt sweat stain

 

Dear WLUSU,

Glad to see which two the political parties you favour in the coming election. I guess without the red or green in your advertising, you’re hoping to work with the incumbent MP, and the incumbent MPP. Yes, I’m talking conservative and liberal.

Sincerely,

#LaurierVotes is biased.

 

 

DEAR WEATHER,

Please cool down.

Sincerely,

Sweaty

 

Dear Life,

Maybe if he can’t convince the Republicans to elect him, Donald Trump will come up here to replace Blouw as WLU President.

Sincerely,

#DraftTrump

 

Dear Life,

Why am I excited to move back to Waterloo? So I can come home drunk at 3 am without my mother judging me

Sincerely,

Stop hating mom

 

Dear Life,

Legalize weed? More like LEGALIZE FREE TEXTBOOKS!

Sincerely,

Help me I’m poor

 

Dear Life,

Classes don’t start till the 10th!?! Please don’t tell me I’m writing exams on Christmas eve…

Sincerely,

I like my holidays.

 

Dear Life,

Every other school started classes before Labour day, why the fuck are we waiting till the 10th to start? Exams don’t start till Dec 12? Thats only 10 days of exams. Grand River Hospital, get ready for student aneurysms over Christmas.

Sincerely,

FML

 

Dear Laurier,

WHY DO EXAMS END ON DECEMBER 23RD? Am I really going to have to study on the night of my birthday?

Sincerely,

Fuck it, I’m still getting drunk

 

Dear Life,

I wish people would let me achieve my fitness goals without scrutinizing times I don’t want to drink.

Sincerely,

Stop looking at me like I have sex without a condom.

 

Dear Life,

It’s so sad when you buy a bunch of cute clothes but you have no friends to hangout with so you have nowhere to wear them to.

Sincerely,

Whatever, still looking cute alone in my house

 

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