Dear Life – Sept 23 2015

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Dear Ms. Lonely (from the September 16 edition):

I know exactly how you feel. Iโ€™d love to meet you!

Sincerely,

Mr. Never Cuddled Anyone

Dear: youโ€™re just a business school for the elite and I canโ€™t wait to be done with you.

I have some extra food to share if you needโ€ฆA bag full of groceries if you let me know here.

Sincerely,

Eat, drink and then you can focus and study

Dear Different Strokes,

I like that you took the time to make your social media icons green.

Sincerely,

Colour scheme is important tyvm

Dear grocery stores,

Why is fancy cheese so expensive?

Sincerely,

I just want a sandwich with some flair

Dear Tim Hortons,

Has science come up with a way to create Ice Capps that donโ€™t drain the coffee first? The chunk of ice thatโ€™s always left at the end is so frustrating. I just want liquid that blends perfectly with ice.

Sincerely,

How to flava ice?

Dear Life,

I canโ€™t tell if Hotmail is still the dominant e-mailing platform or if Gmail has taken over.

Sincerely,

Conflicted and desperately trying to stay trendy

Dear Life,

I bought Assassinโ€™s Creed I and II a year ago and I still havenโ€™t touched it.

Sincerely,

I need money for food

Dear Life,

Is it really necessary to use fake hair to cover up a bald spot? Isnโ€™t that discriminating against hair?

Sincerely,

I thought weโ€™re supposed to be politically correct

Dear Salads,

I thought you were supposed to be vegetable-only.

Sincerely,

Get the strawberries a GPS

Dear Life,

When is it considered too early to start pre-ing for Hoco?

Sincerely,

Too late, already started

Dear Life,

When people in the stall next to me of a public washroom decide to talk on the phone as they take a shit, well it just makes things awkward for the rest of us.

Sincerely,

just stop


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