Communication and Confidence: Advice from an Adult Film Star
It is cold, frigid February. What a else could that signal but romance? Ah, yes, it is the season of love.
It is a time when those of us with partners plan elaborate gestures of love, and those of us without eat a lot of Ben & Jerry’s while watching Moonstruck four times in a row.
When it comes to Feb. 14, there is always an elephant in the room; by room, I specifcally mean the bedroom.
The pressure to perform is a fear held by many and perhaps one that should be held by even more. This year, you’re in luck – I have humbly enlisted the help of a professional in romance, love and physical intimacy.
Former Laurier Student and current adult film star Brianna Arson has many illuminating things to say not just about sex, love and Valentine’s Day – but also about how to approach relationships in the most romantic city in the world: Waterloo, Ontario.
“I have a pretty good grasp on relationships, just because I’ve been through so many, which ultimately led me to my career,” said Arson.
Arson resided near the Laurier campus for several years before her divergence into the pornography industry. Over that time, she got to know the city and its residents.
“Physical touch is one of my love languages, so I think [physical intimacy] is pretty important,” she explained. “I think at least once a month just to destress; once a week is even better. Personally, I’m a nymphomaniac.”
Exploring your sexual side with your partner can sometimes be difficult or awkward; Arson thinks that while not for all couples, watching porn together can be beneficial.
“Watching porn can be helpful, especially when your partner isn’t 100% comfortable with all of the things you’re into. You can get off to the idea of it, or watch a video where you’re seeing what you want to see without having to cross boundaries,” said Arson.
Arson acknowledges and respects that for some couples, going down that road is strictly off -limits; however, she also believes that the practice might merit a second glance (no pun intended).
“People are constantly looking for variety; that’s why people get into and out of
relationships frequently, so I think a little porn is ‘no harm, no foul.’ If anything, it might strengthen your relationship.”
While Arson has thoughts regarding the physical aspects of relationships, she emphasizes that sensuality isn’t sufficient for maintaining a relationship.
“Communication and trust. You can’t build a relationship without trust; for one. Two, you can’t have trust without communication.”
Like anyone else, Arson can appreciate a good Valentine’s Day experience. However,
this doesn’t mean that the proceedings have to be overly elaborate. When it comes to Valentine’s gifts, she likes keeping it simple: “Probably just some flowers, maybe a card and just some time and attention,” she said.
It speaks to the importance of not overthinking or underthinking your relationships. Above all, what’s important during Valentine’s Day is putting in the effort and proving to your partner that you care about them.
Quality time is crucial.
“That’s where you build the [greatest] bond with your partner. Doing activities, spending time with one another and doing the things you both enjoy,” said Arson.
As a Waterloo resident, Arson has some suggestions for date spots.
For those willing to spend a little extra, she recommends Bodega Rose at 17 Erb St E. “It’s this cute, little cactus club restaurant. They bring you platters to share and it’s a great way to try new things with your partner.”
If you’re looking for something lesspricy, Arson suggests Fomoso Italian Pizzaria at 15 King St. S., citing their great menu and how good the food is. She also notes the Pin Up Arcade Bar at 247 King St. N as a solid choice for resident gamers.
Getting into relationships is challenging for some, and maintaining one can be just as tricky. Approaching romance the right way could mean the difference between love and heartbreak.
“For those currently in relationships, just keep things open and honest.” Arson also emphasized communication as the best way to tackle problems. “If you’re having issues, fight for what you have!”
For those attempting to find a partner, Arson expressed her advice passionately, “For those of you who are looking, stay off the fucking dating apps! They don’t work; they never go anywhere. You have to go out and meet people, unfortunately.”
“Talk to the people in your classes; talk to that pretty girl, handsome dude or attractive person in your class and get to know them. Being forward is my best piece of advice because confidence is sexy,” said Arson.
While the romantic world of Brianna Arson may be quite different than that of your average Waterloo student, her words are still valuable in cultivating and maintaining relationships.
Sometimes, all it takes to have a successful sex life is a lot of communication and a little bit of confdence.
Having sex releases happy chemicals, endorphins, you get closer with your partner,Brianna Arson
the skin-to-skin contact is good… it builds“
“If you don’t have communication withBrianna Arson
your partner, your relationship might fail
because how is your partner supposed to
know what you’re thinking when they don’t
live in your head?”