You know what yanks my Cord…

…the ridiculous number of useless television channels. The latest monstrosity to take to the airwaves is a 24-hour channel showing nothing but three ugly chickens swirling around on a rotisserie.

This channel comes courtesy of Swiss Chalet, who clearly thinks that showing a bunch of meat dripping with grease will make one say “mmm let’s go get us some Swiss Chalet tonight.”

But mesmerizing chicken is only the beginning. We also get the sunset channel which only serves to make my grudge against winter even stronger. The aquarium channel offers the convenience of sitting in a dentist’s waiting room without leaving the comfort of your living room.

And who can forget the 24/7 fireplace channel, which after the initial humour of the situation wears off, only makes you question whether this unusual television experience actually made you feel warmer.

With a devastating earthquake ravaging Japan accompanied by a real threat of nuclear meltdown, rapid and unpredictable change sweeping the Middle East and a litany of other issues, can anyone seriously tell me that they have the time or the need to watch any of the aforementioned channels?

We need not turn away from the true reality of the world we are facing to fall into an alternative reality full of pretty sunsets and supposedly appetizing chickens. Facing the world we live in and knowing the challenges we need to confront is vitally necessary and an increased variety of television coverage offers us the opportunity do that more effectively.

But with all the useless 24/7 loops, we have to question whether that is what television is really about anymore. When cable companies list all of these channels in their packages as an added benefit of spending between $50 and $100 on television, is it really going to sway a potential consumer toward a more expensive cable package?

If it does, maybe at least we can be comforted by the fact that if these people enjoy the virtual reality they are living in, they won’t really have to leave their homes and interact with the rest of us.

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