This conversation is a popular topic between my friends and I — the debate of when we should have our life together. It seems as if the number we unanimously decide on as the grown-up age gets older and older as we approach it ourselves.
In high school, it was agreed that 18 would be the age where you should be a proper grown-up. However, as high school came to an end, we deemed 22 as the magic number. Now that I and many of my peers have celebrated our 21st birthdays, 26 is the new idealistic digit that represents our peak maturity. In Canada, the age of majority is 18 in six provinces, Ontario being one of them, and 19 in the remaining four as well as the three territories.
While our legislation deems those ages as being grown-up, is that true?
Independence is undoubtedly a defining feature of being grown- up. When we picture an individual who has reached maturity, they are financially self-sufficient. This may include a stable job, a home of their own as well as other personal assets, such as a car or disposable income. Odds are that many of you reading this right now are over the age of 19 and do not fit the previously stated description of a grown-up.
According to Statistics Canada, there has been an increase of young adults aged 20 to 34 living with relatives other than parents or non-relatives, such as friends or roommates. Additionally, in 2021, 35.1 per cent of young adults lived with at least one parent. In our own country, a good chunk of the grown-up aged population does not adhere to typical definitions of being grown-up.
We cannot look solely at housing statistics or other social constructs to determine what a grown-up age can be — we can, however, turn to our biological make-up.
Looking at our brain chemistry to pinpoint when the brain reaches complete development could narrow down a grown-up age that is not the age of majority our government and society has decided for us. In a TedTalk by scientist Shannon Odell, she explains that brain development follows two trajectories: A reduction in gray matter and an increase of white matter.
In layman’s terms, gray matter is an essential tissue that is important for memory, motion and movement. When the gray matter reduces as we get older, our brain keeps useful connections while getting rid of unused ones. White matter, on the other hand, allows communication and information to exchange to different areas of the brain.
This change in our brain occurs from the start of adolescence all the way through our 20s and allows us to make better decisions overall. With this being said, we could define the grown-up age as when- ever our brain is finished reducing gray matter and has increased white matter — but that would vary from person to person.
This is not the only change our brain goes through throughout our lives, as other factors such as cognitive development can impact our maturity. However, development also changes depending on the person. Therefore, we cannot turn to science to provide us with a grown-up age.
Could it be that there is no defining answer to this question?
The way I look at it, maturity and being a grown-up comes in waves, and we ride that wave for the rest of our lives. At 25, some may feel mature and settled into their lives, until 35 rolls around and you are back on the naive end of the wave feeling like a lost kid again.
Do I think we should view 18 and 19-year-olds as grown up just because legislation says so?
No. I also don’t think we should place any real emphasis on a specific age as being the grown-up age, because it will happen when it happens.
