The five worst people you’ll find on the bus

(Graphic by Jacob Lindgren)

(Graphic by Jacob Lindgren)

In first year, I wasn’t a stranger to public transportation.  I’m originally from Cambridge, so if you know anything about the GRT, you’ll know that it goes all the way from Waterloo to Cambridge; a route I frequently took anytime I wanted to go home for a weekend.

As most it is for most Laurier students, I took advantage of the free bus pass that comes with our tuition. Since the GRT is, in fact, “public transportation,” you will see every kind of person on the bus, some more pleasant than others.

From my own personal experiences, here is a list of some of the people you will encounter on the bus that make bus rides a little less enjoyable. And if you happen to discover that you are one of these kinds of people, you should take this as an opportunity to change yourself. Otherwise, everyone you will encounter on public transit will hate you.

The seat-hogger
As a person who had to stay on the bus for a long time to get all the way to Cambridge, I couldn’t stand the seat-hogger.

No, your backpack or purse does not need to have its own seat on the bus.  Your bag or purse is not a human being and should not have a seat like one. That is what your lap is for.

Everyone knows it can sometimes be uncomfortable sitting elbow to elbow with strangers on the bus, but if the bus is overcrowded, allow people to sit down and move your stuff.  Or else everyone will give you a dirty glare.

Sneezey-McCough-Cough
There’s always that one person on the bus that seems to be slowly dying of some cold or flu. They are the walking embodiment of the plague.

They never cover their mouth when they cough and they always put their germ-infested hands on everything.  There isn’t enough Purell in the world to save you from the lady who has to use public transit to get to her doctor’s appointment. Be careful, travellers.

That guy who forgot to shower
He always sits right beside you, seemingly on purpose.  It makes you wonder, “Is there something about me that attracts these smelly people?”

The worst thing that can happen in a moment like this is when this smelly guy (or sometimes girl)tries to make small talk with you.  He says something to you about the weather outside, but all you notice is the lingering scent of onions on his breath.
The high school delinquents
There will always be a group of high school kids whose main purpose in life is to wreak havoc on all the innocent people on the bus.  They do everything that will enrage you. They shout, they swear and they listen to their iPods at appallingly loud volumes.

It makes sense why their parents won’t drive them anywhere, forcing them to use the bus — they just suck to be around.

The couple who represent everything you hate about love
They are always there.  Sitting in the back corner of the bus.  Whispering in each other’s ears, holding hands and sneaking in the occasional kiss or five.

No one knows where this couple is going, or if they are even going anywhere. It looks like they are just on the bus to show everyone just how in love they are. This couple sees the bus as their own private hotel room, which is just wrong on so many different levels.

And if you’re currently single, seeing this couple is just another obnoxious reminder that you are.

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