The story first broke on an episode of Thots Next Door—a podcast, based on the YouTube thumbnail, I assumed is excruciating. But to give them credit, any program that’s tagline slogan is “we’re horny” sung in unison, rightfully garners low expectations.
During the podcast, Instagram model Slim Danger — don’t worry, I’ve never heard of her either — decided to elaborate on her relationship with NFL Pro Bowl receiver Odell Beckham Jr.
And to say the absolute least, Beckham Jr. may not have been traded to the Cleveland Browns coincidentally.
During the grammatical nightmare that took up the majority of their discussion, Danger shared a rather shocking sentiment: “He likes to be sh**tted on.”
Danger then went on to detail the haunting play-by-play of her miserable attempt to document herself defecating upon Beckham’s request. “I was sh*tting. I made it as sexy as possible,” she explained.
Of course, nothing has been confirmed — nor do I want it to be — but Beckham Jr. did seem to joke about the claim in his latest Instagram post, the caption reading, “Can’t knock me off my pivot… no matter what shx*ts thrown my way.”
Regardless of the validity behind Danger’s claims, Beckham Jr. seems comfortable and content with the rumours circulating throughout the media. Maybe he’s taking the high road. You can’t shame someone for something they aren’t ashamed of.
Yet this hasn’t stopped the media from cracking a few jokes of their own. Predictably, Twitter has been exploding with talk of Beckham Jr. and his newly public kink — there’s even a song about it.
I’ll step off my high horse for a minute and admit more than a few got a laugh out of me. I can’t deny that it’s a funny story.
But my question is, why do we feel we need to joke about anyone’s personal life other than our own?
It’s abnormal –— and slightly vileal. That’s the only reason these stories garner any interest: shock value. Beckham’s new narrative is entertainment for media consumption, another story to capitalize on. off of.
There is nothing ethically wrong with it — although I’m sure it’s somewhere in the Bible. A similarly shocking story broke not long after about broadcaster Joe Budden and his tendency to play with the genitals of his pets — seriously, he did it on camera.
This is where public outrage is warranted: a case of bestiality. Not only does it make me hesitant to pet my dog anywhere below the ears, it’s also an ethical nightmare—and I don’t think I need to explain why.
This is a case that deserved outrage, not Beckham’s. If any part of this story should frustrate fans, it should be the fact that Danger felt it was appropriate to divulge someone’s private information publicly.
Of course, none of us will ever know the truth behind these claims in their entirety. It’s difficult to designate blame when your only source of information are the shaky claims of three obscure, socially-stunted wannabes fighting for relevance.
Do we ever consider the recipient of our wisecracks? The person who has to play it off as if they’re in on the joke? Yes, Beckham Jr. seemed to take it well, making jokes of his own, but isn’t it possible he’s just intelligent enough to know this is his safest route away from embarrassment?
The fact is, this is a private matter — something none of us have any right to know in the first place. If Beckham Jr. wasn’t one of the most entertaining receivers in the league this story would have fizzled out after a few.
Imagine if news broke out that Ian Kennedy — relief pitcher for the Kansas City Royals — fancied a gallon of hot urine alongside his weekly orgasm.
Aside from Royals fans, not a person in the world would take much interest — even though Kennedy has a base salary of over two-million dollars more than Beckham Jr.— and I bet the majority of you don’t even know who Ian Kennedy is.
The media, fans, and the everyday comedian have no genuine right or credibility to shame someone else for their innocent kink. Unless you are comfortable having the entire world know what gets you off in bed, then there is no moral integrity in broadcasting someone else’s private kink — regardless of who it is.
Sure, it’ll probably get you some negative reviews at just about every Ohio Marriott establishment and it’s definitely the easiest way to infect yourself with Ssalmonella, but there’s nothing overly immoral about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really want to get pooped on — my grade ten obsession with Taco Bell has ruined any possibility of that fantasy developing — but if Odell Beckham Jr. wants to, I say all in.
