Holding in an outburst

Tick, tick, tick, tick. That’s the sound of your inner clockwork. Those ticks are the hands on an alarm clock that lingers inside you. Do you hear it? If you answered yes, I suggest you get yourself checked out because hearing ticks inside of you sounds pretty fucked up.

But, whether or not you do actually hear them, you can believe there most certainly is a mental time bomb programmed inside you. It’s been there the whole time.

What will set it off? What will diffuse the explosive?

The pressures of our life never seem to end. Everyday is a challenge. You’ve heard it before: “the more you bite off, the harder it is to chew.” But sometimes pressures are unavoidable, inevitably piling on top of you and making you feel like you’re about to burst. The important thing to remember is it’s completely fine to have a dramatic moment where you just blow up.

As much as we know we aren’t perfect, we still constantly strive for perfection. We try to be invincible and we think we are weak if we let others know how we feel or to speak up when we are bothered by things. It often feels like the world is judging us and we often prefer to keep our mouths shut and our feelings locked up.

What type of explosion am I referring to? It may manifest in the form of an angry email, an unexpected phone call, sobbing, a display of frantic yelling or maybe all of the above.

You may come off a little crazy, but hey, that’s life.

It’s embarrassing to admit you have moments like this but I certainly think there’s more value in having such eruptions than most like to think. It seems like weakness or might be considered unhealthy, which it partly is, but sometimes that kind of emotional release is necessary.

They are both a blessing and a curse.

I just recently had a meltdown in front of my friends in a public area.

I lost track of my surroundings and it just spilled out. I don’t like to cry, I honestly don’t, but I found myself with my back against the wall, drowning in my own emotions.

Obviously I didn’t have instant relief and feel great after, but sometimes it just needs to come out, especially when you don’t diffuse all the tension that has built up in a timely manner.

The real trick is just that, though.

Everything in life is a rush with little time to slow down. It’s difficult to let up or be vulnerable, so we push everything aside and refrain from dealing with it until it sneaks back up on you.

In reality though there are better ways than having such an explosion of emotion.

We know the solutions we need to take forth to diffuse our stress, yet because we are stuck in our everyday routine we just temporarily push everything aside even when we know we shouldn’t. Why? Because it’s easy.

We should not be letting little things build up until a large outburst occurs.

It’s fine to be vulnerable and it’s fine to accept you aren’t perfect. Taking time to reflect on things may really help.

Everyone reading this article right now, take note. As much as I would like to say I am writing this strictly for your benefit, that isn’t the case. It’s for me too.

Writing things down and putting your thoughts out there can help release your stress.

Others can have the same kind of effect as well. When you blow up, some of your friends may even get caught in the crossfire. Utilize them rather than take them down with you. It honestly helps knowing people are supportive and it usually takes someone talking to me about it to fully calm you down.

It’s probably a better solution to take the time to speak up if something is bothering you, have little regrets and stop letting little irritations pile up until they become what defines you.

Leave a Reply