Dear life: October 31, 2012

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dear Life is your opportunity to write a letter to your life, allowing you to vent your anger with life’s little frustrations in a completely public forum. All submissions to Dear Life are anonymous, should be no longer than 100 words and must be addressed to your life. Submissions can be sent to dearlife@thecord.ca no later than Monday at noon each week.

Dear Wheeling at the Library,
The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Come find me, Silent seven, reading good fiction.
Sincerely,
Wilfrid Shakespeare

Dear Life, or rather, Dear Loud Students in the Library,
I am here to get work done. You are here to look at memes and Facebook. No, the small rooms on each floor are not sound proof and yes, we all hear you. I am asking you nicely, please, go to the concourse or 2-4 Lounge.
Sincerely,
Your voice makes my skin crawl

Dear Life,
Have you ever noticed how much watermelon ice breakers taste like deodorant?
Sincerely,
Calypso

Dear Laurier,
Turn the heat down in all your buildings. It’s still warm out and it’s not winter yet. I’m tired of sweating my balls off and falling asleep in class.
Sincerely,
If I wanted to sweat, I’d go to hot yoga

Dear Editor-In-Chief,
I’m just thinking about our life together. I feel like I’m walking on a cloud. My penis is tingling right now.
Sincerely,
Our life will be full of rainbows, unicorns and smiles

Dear Life,
Can someone please remind The Cord that they are not a news tabloid? They are there to be source of information to students and not a gossip column.
Sincerely,
If I wanted to read gossip magazine, I’d buy US Weekly

Dear Life,
I wish people who complain about the Students’ Union would actually quit whining and do something.
Sincerely,
Grow a set and be the change you wish to see

Dear Life,
Why am I expected to pay so much money for tuition, when all the profs want me to do is read the book?
Sincerely,
That’s one damn expensive book!

Dear Life,
Its called SILENT seven for a reason.
Sincerely,
STFU

Dear Life,
To the disgusting low-life who stole my iPhone five right out of my purse last night at Phil’s, I hate you.
Sincerely,
Once again a blackberry user

Dear Life,
Anxiously awaiting the Halloween walks of shame Thursday morning.
Sincerely,
Will be setting up my lawn chair at 9 a.m.

Dear Cord Staff,
Your article about Halloween costumes was fine — until you slut-shamed. We have to acknowledge the sexism that exists and the lack of costume options for women. The issue is that sexual costumes are not as pressured towards men as they are to women. Being sexy or slutty isn’t the problem. We also have to stop slut-shaming women that wear costumes that society expects them to wear in the first place. Calling out individual women and making fun of them just takes us back to misogyny square one.
Sincerely,
Feminist gladly dressing as a slutty cat this Halloween

Dear Life,
Why must guys wear sleeveless shirts in the library? You look like street urchins instead of university students. And take a bath.
Sincerely,
Time to longboard home

Dear contractors working on the Athletic Complex,
Learn how to park. I did not pay $273.62 for a white permit to watch you sprawl over two spaces and leave me with Bricker parking roulette or the hike from the stadium.
Sincerely,
Off-campus student

Dear Life,
Can we just give a huge thank you to all the volunteers from foot patrol who are out walking students during this crazy storm from Hurricane Sandy?
Sincerely,
Someone who appreciates Student Services

Dear Boys of 65 Ezra,
You guys have thrown the BEST parties in the past couple years! Hoping there is one for Halloween! #giantbeerfunnel #balcony #jellopool
Sincerely,
Everyone on campus

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