Dear life: October 17, 2012

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Dear Life is your opportunity to write a letter to your life, allowing you to vent your anger with life’s little frustrations in a completely public forum. All submissions to Dear Life are anonymous, should be no longer than 100 words and must be addressed to your life. Submissions can be sent to dearlife@thecord.ca no later than Monday at noon each week.

Dear Life,
So how did the person at the top of the WLUSU hierarchical structure also become a part of the WLUSP Board of Directors? I never knew you could control the government and the media.
Sincerely,
George Orwell

Dear loud intoxicated boys on the street outside my window,
I’m glad your buddy is getting “birthday sex” but that doesn’t mean you need to chant it repeatedly at 2 a.m..
Sincerely,
K, thanks. IT’S A SUNDAY NIGHT

Dear Life,
For all those people that say they are always in class. Fuck off! You do not have class from 8:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. at night everyday of the week. You can take two minutes out of your day to meet up and return the usb you borrowed last month.
Sincerely,
Ten minutes in between your classes is all it takes

Dear Life,
Burrito Boys and Smoke’s Poutinerie should never be had on the same day at the same time.
Sincerely,
Proud mother of a food baby

Dear Creepy guy,
No matter how much I try to steer away from you, fate always brings us back together. Like when you walk into my lecture and sit in on my presentation.
Sincerely,
Felt like you were undressing me with your eyes X_X

Dear Editor-In-Chief,
What’s a nice guy like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Sincerely,
My mind is full of lots of kinky fuckery

Dear MyLS users,
Stop mass emailing for notes. They are clogging up my email and I don’t even know what course you are asking for.
Sincerely,
I understand you were sick but a message on the discussion board would do

Dear Life,
When in disgrace with LORIS and the Dean,
I all alone unto the 2-4 lounge
Retreat, to trouble Facebook with this mean
Injustice, and from the food bank to scrounge.
Wishing me like to one less hungover,
Showered like him, like him with cash possess’d,
Desiring this citations to be over
And these woes, of my cares, the least.
Yet in Phil’s beer myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the Hawk at the U-desk lying
From sullen earth, sings cheers at Newbrough’s gate;
Comparing thee to Western and those fiends,
That then I scorn to change my state with Queen’s.
Sincerely,
Wilfrid Shakespeare

Dear Life,
Why does taco bell taste so good going in, but so bad on the way out?
Sincerely,
My Ass is on Fire

Dr. Guys laughing on the 7th floor of the library for the past two hours,
Prepare to become a Laurier statistic in April of the wrong kind.
Sincerely,
Wasting 15 grand for fun is not my thing

Dear Life,
What’s it gonna take for Sinbad to get another shot? I mean, has the world forgotten about the masterpiece that was Houseguest?
Sincerely,
Eddie is the best one on Slacker Cats

Dear Person writing the dear life’s about our EIC,
Come talk to me…. I have some inside info for you.
Sincerely,
The Bosses Boss (president@wlusp.com)

Leave a Reply