Dear Life: November 14, 2012

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Dear Life,

Why do people always need to put others down, like the wlu compliments page or wlusu volunteers.. They’re just trying to make this school a better place, why hate?

Sincerely,

So confused

 

Dear Baseball team,

What really went on that night?

Sincerely,

Wondering who swallowed the grand salami that night

 

Dear Life,

This is the 5th floor of the library. Not the main floor. Not the concourse. Not the 2-4. Shut the fuck up unless you’re talking about anything remotely useful. Figure it out.

Sincerely,

Stressed and fed up and i hate people right now

 

DEAR EVERY STUDENT AT LAURIER,

Every last one of us are members of the Students’ Union. Everyone. There is no Students’ Union Bubble. Same with WLUSP. There is no bubble, we are all best friends. All you need to do is reach out and say hi. It’s easy when you volunteer because you are surrounded by these people. This is coming from someone who in first year knew no one at this school and now has more friends than I can count. Even if you don’t volunteer for anything, you can be friends with all of these people. And considering I would call myself a pretty hardcore Students’ Union representative, as you can find my work in all corners of the school, I don’t even know half of the people that are being complimented because most of them aren’t in this silly ”bubble” you so claim to exist. I love this school and each and every one of you. Never change, even the parts that question things which make me upset, because that is what makes us unique. Different temperments, talents, and convictions. Fly free Golden Hawks

Sincerely,

I’m a bit bipolar about these issues

 

Dear Women in Science Laurier group,

When you take up the entire atrium for an event that 10 people show up to, you know you’re a total joke.

Sincerely,

A REAL female scientist at Laurier

 

Dear Life,

Can we please attach a sign that says lab occupied or lab vacant to all the doors of the computer labs on campus. I am honestly tired of trying to figure out if there’s a class/lab going on in the rooms and if it’s okay me to use the facilities.

Sincerely,

Accidentally walked into a lab with five students

 

Dear Lover boy,

Why oh why can’t you just fall in love with me and see the amazing person that I truly am! Why oh why my I be forced to secretly follow you around campus and never be able to confess my feelings for you. Why oh why must you always sit with that skinny bittie?! Why I ask you? Why?!

Sincerely,

Borderline Helga Pataki

 

Dear Business Professors,

The next time I do a case, please get us a case from Laurier. If I wanted to do a case from Western, I would have gone to Western.

Sincerely,

I chose Laurier for a reason

 

Dear Life,

I love running outside. What don’t I love about it? The idiots that take up the entire sidewalk, forcing you to run on the road so you don’t compromise their damn conversation.

Sincerely,

Get the hell out of my way

 

Dear Life,

It would be nice if the people walking in the row behind me didn’t whack their backpack off my head when going to their seat.

Sincerely,

Ever heard of personal space? You just took over mine

 

Dear ”University Students”

Welcome to higher learning, sorry you forgot what you’ve learned in the past twenty years. Maybe remember back to grade one where we all learned that littering was bad for the enviroment. As I walk around campus and the blocks surrounding, its evident nobody knows how to use a garbage can. Just because there’s a student ghetto doesn’t mean it needs to look like a shit hole. Please have a little respect and pick it up if it’s on your lawn, or don’t throw it on the ground in the first place.

Sincerely,

We pay thousands of dollars to come here, going to the garbage dump is free

 

Dear Life,

Have a nice day!

Sincerely,

It’s all good

 

Dear Life,

Some of us have the courage to compliment others to their face, not over some anonymous Facebook thing.

Sincerely,

Grow a pair

 

Dear Life,

All day I’ve been hearing the 12 bars of Christmas site has crashed and no one has been able to get tickets. With all the atrocities in the world this one has definitely been the worst.

Sincerely,

Tell someone who gives a fuck.

 

Dear Uneducated Lovers,

People are not psychics. You cannot expect someone to know what you like without giving them a reaction. Purposely holding back in the bedroom out of embarrassment will only lead to a shitty experience. And to those males out there who believe only the female should be making noise… just stop. Your reactions reinforce your partner’s confidence by letting them know they’re doing it right. After all, no one like the sound of crickets. Until next week, keep gliding.

Sincerely,

The Lubricant of Laurier

 

Dear editor-in-chief,

It seems that my heartfelt notes aren’t catching your attention just yet. Now its time for the good stuff. I stole a pair of your underwear while you were at the office, putting your brilliant and sexy mind to work. Yes, I am wearing them right now. Want them back? Take them off…with your teeth.

Sincerely,

No more Mr. Nice-Guy

 

Dear Editor-in-Chief,

I’ll give you the power if you treat me like a delicate flower.

Sincerely,

Wrote that bitch a sonnet. Bitches love sonnets

 

Dear ”Every Other Holiday Barnight” facebook event,

So typical of WLUSU to create their own ”12 barz” event because they couldn’t get tix. Guess the people at 12 barz didn’t know how ’important’ you people are. Oops.

Sincerely,

It’s not very inclusive when it’s INVITE ONLY, but then again its a WLUSU event…

 

Dear Life,

Library is place to STUDY… those who don’t need to study can go to HELL … there are many other places for you to cheap chat and scream !!!! i dont give a shit what you did this weekend !!!

Sincerely,

SHUT UP

 

Dear WLUSU,

That’s the thing about you WLUSU kids, you think EVERYBODY’s in love with you when in fact everyone HATES YOU.

Sincerely,

Stop bragging about ”volunteering”…there are 14K students here who don’t give a shit.

 

Dear Dons, OCAs, & other authority figures,

Why you gotta be so off limits?

 

Sincerely,

Impatient first years

 

Dear every first year,

Some friendly advice, just because you live with them in residence doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to live with them in second year. Dorms and houses are extremely different.

Sincerely,

Moving out

 

Dear Life,

The Cord is the perfect size to line the bottom of my budgies’ cage. As you read this Dear Life, they are pooping on Bag O’ Crime.

Sincerely,

Crazy Bird Lady

 

Dear Life,

Two questions. Do you like pizza and do you want to fuck? No?

Sincerely,

Why, you no like pizza?

 

Dear Life,

I just want to take the time to sincerely thank my profs (and all the profs at WLU) who are really there for their students. This semester has been really tough and I’ve been struggling with depression big time. Particularly, Dr. Jason Sager, Dr. Dana Weiner and Dr. Cynthia Commachio, who have been incredibly supportive, compassionate and really listen. I don’t feel alone in this anymore. And to all you students out there who are struggling, even if you’re not sure if it’s depression, don’t be afraid to talk to your profs, reach out! They listen and they really do care, and can point you in the direction towards help (be it help with readings, assignments, an ear to listen or a stepping stone towards getting more professional help). Thank you Laurier for making Mental Health an issue we are talking about more on campus. If you’re a student who is nervous about visiting the Counselor’s office, maybe start with your prof because they are another group of many at WLU who want to see you do well in life.

Sincerely, someone who is truly grateful!

 

Dear Life is your opportunity to write a letter to your life, allowing you to vent your anger with life’s little frustrations in a completely public forum. All submissions to Dear Life are anonymous, should be no longer than 100 words and must be addressed to your life. Submissions can be sent to dearlife@thecord.ca no later than Monday at noon each week.

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