Dear Life: Aug. 1

Thank you for creating the 50 Shades trilogy. It has given women a reason to enjoy porn without being criticized.
Sincerely,
I can’t wait to get laid

Dear next-door daycare,
Hitting, screaming and punching every item of the backyard will not make your day go by faster. Your mother is not coming.
Sincerely,
I was you once

Dear September,
Can you please come faster? I’m actually super excited for school. I miss a busy campus and just want my friends to come back and party.
Sincerely,
Actually excited to do better next year

Dear Life,
Sometimes I forget how amazing people at Laurier are. It isn’t until you’re away that you notice how friendly everyone is.
Sincerely,
Love living in my Laurier bubble

Dear Life,
__ ______ __ ____
\ \/ / __ \/ / / __ \
\ / / _/ / /__ / /_/ /
/_/\____/____/\____/

Sincerely,
Yolo

Dear Life,
A bachelors degree is the new high school diploma… I wish someone had told me this four years ago. *Sigh.
Sincerely,
College-bound Laurier Alum

Dear fellow workers,
If you’re going to call in sick saying your appendix is exploding, please don’t tweet about going out the night before.
Sincerely,
I hope it really does burst

Dear Life,
It boggles my mind how stupid people can behave in crowds. Their brains shrink to the size of peas and they become unable to function in any way that is civilized. We all have places to go and time is always working against us but must you act like a dumb sheep? Usually I ignore this type of behaviour but when I have to walk against a crowd and end up getting pushed onto the street into ongoing traffic, I’m going to get pissed.
Sincerely,
Maybe I expect too much from dumb people

Dear Life,
When will it be Sinbad’s turn again? I mean come on, who didn’t love that holiday classic Jingle All the Way?  He fucking carried Arnie and we all know it.
Sincerely,
I just want to wear my brightly-coloured windbreaker again

Dear Life,
Why does #nooneunderstand me? Guess I’m just gonna have to keep putting my headphones on and going into my own world.
Sincerely,
#youveprobablyneverheardofit