Pisces (Feb. 19 โ March 20): Quit drinking like a fish and start studying like one.
Aries (March 21 โ Apr. 19): Itโs Oscars week! Treat yourself to a movie marathon and live your life dramatically.
Taurus (Apr. 20 โ May 20): Quit the bull! Stop lying to the people you love and just say how you feel. You arenโt saving anyoneโs feelings.
Gemini (May 21 โ June 20): Live by the wise words of Tracy Morgan this week: โBe a good listener, a giver of gifts and work that va-jay-jayโ or simply โLive every week like itโs shark week.โ
Cancer (June 21 โ Jul. 22): Just do it. Just talk to the person youโve been crushing on and ask them out already. Iโm sure theyโre in a post-Valentineโs Day slump as much as you are!
Leo (Jul. 23 โ Aug. 22): Live up to your star sign and have a Leonardo DiCaprio movie marathon! Start with Wolf of Wall Street and work your way to Whatโs Eating Gilbert Grape.
Virgo (Aug. 23 โ Sept. 22): Watch Dallas Buyers Club. Just please. Please watch it. Bad things will happen to you this week if you decide against watching it.
Libra (Sept. 23 โ Oct. 22): Balance is tough! Make sure you hold a plate of pasta in BOTH hands to balance your diet.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 โ Nov. 21): Live up to your star sign and just KILL your midterms…too soon?
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 โ Dec. 21): Oh lord, reading week sure is over, isnโt it? Get to work! Or…you could extend it a few more days. The choice is yours young Sagittarius…
Capricorn (Dec. 22 โ Jan. 19): Do a pub-crawl with some friends and donโt forget to fight the killer robots on the way.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 โ Feb. 18): Wait? Laurier has a pool? Thatโs what my pool fee has been going to? Might as well go for a dip then!
Staff Writer Spencer Dunn drank the liquid in a Magic 8 Ball when he was a kid and now he believes he has supernatural powers.
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