A successful St. Patty’s Day in 8 steps

St. Patrick’s Day is a pretty big deal for students. It is a day to say “screw responsibilities” and go out with friends for some purely ridiculous, over-the-top celebrating. If you can pull it off, a day of drinking can offer some relief from the daily grind of classes, essay writing and studying for finals. While a day of drinking can leave you passed out on a curb at 5 p.m. with “Kiss me I’m Irish” written across your forehead, there are steps that can be taken to avoid meeting such an end, while still making sure St. Patrick’s Day 2010 is one for the record books.

1. There is no such thing as too much beer

St. Patty’s is not St. Patty’s without copious amounts of alcohol. Witnessing a man run by your house in nothing but green body paint is not nearly as enjoyable when you’re standing on your front lawn with a Sprite in hand. So get out to the Beer Store and stock up. If you don’t have a car, steal your four-year-old cousin’s wagon; everyone will understand. Even if you plan to spend your entire day parked in a lawn chair next to a keg, you don’t want to be left high and dry because you underestimated the drinking abilities of your friends.

2. Wear green

This one should really go without saying, but sometimes people surprise you. If you aren’t wearing some form of green, you will be the focus of attention the entire day. It’s science. This isn’t going to be a good kind of attention either, it will fall somewhere between “who is that weirdo?” and “what the f*ck?”. Remember, drunken students can be relentless, so protect yourself with excessive greening.

3. Sleep

The third most important thing you can do to make sure your celebrations go off without a hitch is making sure you get a good night’s sleep leading up to the big day. 12 plus hours of alcohol consumption isn’t easy on anyone. Even champions need their rest, so make sure you get a solid eight hours.

4. Set your alarm

Sleeping is important, but early morning drinking is more important. Starting the day off strong is necessary if you hope to build the momentum that’s going to carry you through all of your festivities. Starting a day of drinking any later than 11:00 a.m. is simply a waste, so make sure you’re up in time to shower, get suitably caffeinated and have a breakfast of Lucky Charms.

5. Get outside

It’s March 17, meaning it’s practically balmy. Even if it’s not, do you think St. Patrick was afraid of a little breeze? Drinking outside is about rejecting winter and making your own hilarity visible for all to see. It wouldn’t be very generous of you to keep your inebriated performances to yourself, would it? Besides, who really wants to be known as the girl or guy who got drunk by themselves on their couch and passed out in front of a rerun of Saved by the Bell? Trust me on this one, the fresh air will keep you chipper and the new friends you’ll meet lawn surfing will keep you entertained. So put on a (green) sweater and get outside.

6. Leave the roadies at home

Drinking outside might possibly be one of the very best things in this world. That being said, getting a $125 ticket for drinking in public is enough to squash everyone’s dream day. Sure, I get it, there is something very liberating about taking your “good times” beverage on the road with you, but trust that the police will be on the prowl. We’re students after all, meaning disposable cash is pretty hard to come by. So every time you leave the security of your lawn in search of greener pastures, think to yourself, “How much beer could I buy with $125?”

7. Hit up at least one bar

It might sound like an awful idea, but the bar scene on St. Patrick’s Day offers a guaranteed good time. While spending all day at the bar might be a bit pricey, showing up for an hour or two will add some variation to your celebration. Lines and crowds might not seem like the ideal form of entertainment, but trust me: hundreds of inebriated individuals standing outside dressed to match is a recipe for excellence. Some of the most popular destinations include: Wilf’s, Ethel’s, Morty’s, Chainsaw, Fox and the Fiddle and of course our own little Irish gem, Failte.

8. Do something you normally wouldn’t and make St. Patrick proud

Vague advice, I know. But trust me on this one. Whether it is a drunken game of ultimate Frisbee, funneling from a second story window, drinking on your friend’s roof, streaking or painting your entire body green, each new experience will add to the splendour of the day. When all is said and done, you will have stories to share with your grandkids about the good ol’ days of university.

St. Patrick’s Day only rolls around once a year, so put the books away for an afternoon and get out and enjoy one of the last big parties of the semester. You are only young once, and trust me when I say your future employers will not take kindly to you skipping a day of work for the sake of drinking. Get the fun in now while its still acceptable. Cheers.

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