Nov. 11, 2009

Dear Life:
For the love of god don’t take up both arm rests during crowded lectures. I thought this was an unspoken rule. Just take the one to your right. I know you can feel my subtle nudges you prick.
Sincerely,
This Close to Smacking Your Arm

Dear Life:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t people supposed to be quiet in the library!? Especially now, during crunch time, I keep hearing groups of people talking loudly and rudely in the middle of the library. I’m trying to do my fucking work, as if I’m miserable enough as it is, and I really don’t give a flying rat’s ass about your hair appointment yesterday, or if your boyfriend is being a jerk. Either go outside or shut the fuck up.
Sincerely,
This Isn’t the Concourse

Dear Life:
No thanks to the guy too busy smoking his cigarette in front of the library doors to open one of them for me while my hands were full with coffees. I’m sure the pavement enjoyed my $4 London fog much more than I would have. Forget chivalry, common courtesy is dead.
Sincerely,
Damsel in Distress

Dear Life:
How did you get to be so perfect? Thanks for always being so amazing! I really appreciate it.
Sincerely, Enjoying Everything

Dear Life:
Why must I be experiencing crippling writer’s block during the peak of paper season? Even that sentence took me 20 minutes to write.
Sincerely,
Can’t Think of a Name

Dear Life:
In response to ‘Girl with a Black Boyfriend.’ I am close friends with the guy dressed as Tiger Woods for Halloween. I find it ironic that you claim racism yet you identify as “girl with a black boyfriend.” Why is that even relevant? The fact remains that he dressed as Tiger Woods, not as a black man. Several black males were at the turret and found no fault in his costume, why should you? You need to stop looking for things that aren’t there. I grew up in the country, should I be offended when someone dresses up in cowboy boots and a plaid shirt?
Sincerely,
You’re the Racist

Dear Life:
It is clear that the university is starting to see signs of failure of 7am classes….yes WLU they now have 7am classes…some lights aren’t on, Tim’s isn’t open…and the class avg of the midterm went from 64% to 52%—hmmm maybe cause no one can pay attention no matter how hard we try! Thanks WLU for admitting too many students and screwing some of us over!
Sincerely,
Thought I was a Morning Person

Dear Life:
Why do iPod headphones sound so great but break after a couple months only to start fucking buzzing in my ear?
Sincerely,
Out $49.95 Plus Shipping

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